To Save An Angel
by dj475
Summary: Cas is depressed and suicidal but what happens when the night before hes about to end his life a very deranged and and angry Dean Winchester saunters into his life and turns it upside down? Can Dean help Cas or is he going to drown in his own problems? Warnings for abuse, selfharm, suicidal thoughts and drug use. AU: Highschool and a bit of Sabriel on the side
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings for this chapter:** Gay bashing and mentions of self harm.

Dean sighed and sunk into his seat. He really didn't want to be here but he had no choice. The stupid desks were shit and the chairs hurt his back.

Another boy came and quietly sat down in the desk beside Dean. He gently set his bag down, bent down and started pulling books out of it. Dean happened to note that today he was sporting a nice black eye and bruised lip.

Every week or so the kid came with new injuries. Dean just shrugged thinking the boy liked to get into a lot of fights.

Dean felt a hard jab in his back.

He rolled his eyes and turned in his seat to come face to face with his blond haired friend.

"Jo, what do you want?" Dean grumbled, narrowing his eyes at her.  
"Still up to my party tomorrow?" Dean hummed in response, his face melting into a more natural expression.

"Great I'll see you then!"  
"Is that all you wanted to ask me?" Dean stretched his arm to try to touch where Jo had poked him but it was too far back. He brought his arm back and rested it on his desk, twisting his neck and torso slightly so he could turn and see Jo better.

Dean never had many friends, or rather he never let many people get close to him. Jo was one of those people that he had known his whole life, and although he'd never say it aloud, she had weaseled her way into his life and was his best friend.

Jo knew everything about him, hell Jo knew Dean more than Dean knew himself.

"Yup pretty much!" Jo smiled.  
"You know you can be a pain in the ass right?" Dean said, sighing.  
_

Tomorrow couldn't have come faster.  
Somehow Dean had ended up in a stupid circle surrounded by most of his class mates and a few faces he didn't recognized.

Sam had talked him into 40 minutes of heaven.

Dean was seated with Sam on his left side and Jo beside Sam. On Dean's Left side sat one of Sams other friends, Gabriel and a few other people Dean knew briefly.

Dean knew briefly who Gabriel was because sometimes he'd come over to Bobby's and he would do his homework with Sam on the kitchen table. Gabriel was a pretty good kid in Dean's books.

There was a glass, brown bottle in the middle of the large circle. A few people had already left to go into closets, bedrooms and even a bathroom.

Dean wasn't even paying attention until he heard his name called.

"I am so not going into the room with my brother! Send Dean in!"  
Dean looked in the direction in which his name was called, and to his surprise it was Gabriel.

The slick glass bottle neck was pointing toward said man.

Gabriel looked mortified.

Dean chuckled couldn't help but chuckle at his comical expression

"Ha! Dean's going to get the faggot!"  
"Oh Dean be careful, he might end up taking you from behind!" Voice around the circle taunted, laughing.

Dean glower at them.

Dean didn't really know who spun the bottle but he stood up with bored eyes and looked around the circle waiting for this mystery person to stand up.

"Dean, you don't have to do this." Jo stood up and whispered in his ear. Dean simply rolled his eyes at her and let his eyes wander the faces. His eyes fell upon one certain boy that looked awfully familiar.

The boy had frightened bright blue eyes and tousled dark short hair. Deans eye's didn't have to play on the others handsome features for long before finding familiar injuries.

He was the boy Dean sat beside in English class.

"Castiel you're such a fa-"  
"You finish that sentence and I will fucking skin you alive, you got that big boy!" Gabriel erupted also standing up, going to walk over to the kid who had called out.

Gabriel looked like he was going to beat the living shit out of this kid.

Dean watched as Castiel gripped Gabriel's arm desperately and whispered something to Gabriel. Gabriel glared at the his younger brother before he sat back down. Castiel walked over to Dean, and kept his head down.  
_

After getting directions on where to go from Jo the two boys ended up sitting in a random, pink bedroom. The two boys both seated themselves on the purple bed, at opposite sides.

"So, um, you're Gabe's brother huh." Dean said trying to avoid the awkward silence that fell over the two of the.

"Yes." Castiel replied in a small voice.

"You don't seem like much of a party animal, what brought you here?" Dean said trying to keep up some sort of conversation.

"Gabriel said I needed out of the house"

"Ahh I see."

Another awkward silence.

Dean started looking around the room. It was a rather large room, but obviously a girls room. Dean had no idea who's room it was because he had been in Jo's room and there was no way in hell it was her mothers, Ellen.

"Why'd you come in here with me?"

Dean was pulled out his train of thought and looked over at the blue eyed boy.

He studied the other boy carefully. Drinking in every feature on the others face.

He had dark, black hair that looked like he had awful bedhead. He was playing with his lower lip in his teeth and looking down so Dean couldn't see his eyes.

Around his right eye looked nasty and looked as if it hurt. It looked a few days old which made it worst. It was a dark red and it came up into his eyebrow and faded into an awful yellowish colour.

Under his eye was black and it, too, faded into a yellow.

Right where the bridge of his nose and the eye actually met was a dark purple.

It looked horribly painful and Dean was shocked Cas could even keep his eye open.

Right at the end of his lip on the left side was all red and purple in the center

There was no way that a boy like this would have ever gotten into a fight with anyone, Dean thought. He just seemed too...innocent.

The other boy looked up and his eyes nearly took Deans breath away.

They were such an electrifying blue that seemed to ripped through Dean.

It felt as though they were looking into his soul.  
Dean suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"I.. I.. I uhm." Dean let out a soft cough before continuing. He put on his game face and did what he did best.

"Why'd you?" With that he smirked.

"Oh."

Castiel and Deans eyes locked together, neither refusing to look away. Dean's smirk slowly bled off his face.

Dean was getting lost in Cas' eyes. They were so.. Broken and lost.

There was no spark, just an intensifying pain that seemed to haunted his very being.

Deans eyes started to wonder and they drifted down to Cas's lips. He wondered what they'd feel like against his. He wondered if the other boy had ever kissed anyone before.

His lips looked so pink and soft.

Before Dean could stop he felt himself slowly pulling closer to the other boy.

When their lips finally touched Dean could feel how stiff Cas was but Dean couldn't care. At first Castiel didn't even move but slowly he melted into the kiss.

Soon he was following Dean and their mouths moved together. Dean wanted, needed more. He lightly nipped and sucked on Castiel's bottom lip. The other boy, clearly surprised gasped and Dean smirked into the kiss and slid his tongue swiftly into the others mouth.

Cas completely froze and didn't move. Dean took this as a bad sign and pulled away looking at Cas with soft eyes.

Cas' eyes were wide and he was panting heavily when Dean pulled away.  
His lips were red and puffy from Dean, and that only turned Dean on more but he knew he had to stop.

"Cas." Dean said breathlessly. "Wh-whats wrong? Do you not want to do this?"

Cas suddenly crashed their lips back together in a hurry. His hands gripped the sides of Deans face, roughly and his nailed dug into the soft flesh. He bit down hard on Deans lip breaking the skin. Dean let out a surprised yelp and Cas' tongue slide past his teeth and into his mouth. Dean could taste blood. He grabbed onto the back of Cas's and deepened the kiss.

Cas roamed all over Deans mouth, his tongue laced over the other mans gums, the roof of his mouth, his cheeks. Everywhere. The metallic taste of Dean's blood twisted into the mix.

Dean, so caught up in the kiss, pushed his hands under Cas' shirt trying to explore as much as he could as Cas took charge. As soon as his hand touched the soft flesh it was gone, and Cas was off his lips.

Cas jumped up and flew off the bed, slamming himself onto the wall on the other side of the room with a loud thump that vibrated off the walls.

Hurt and confusion painted Deans face before it sunk into concern.  
"What?" Dean asked confused.

"I am so sorry Dean." Castiel said his eyes wide, tears collecting in them.

"I don't get it?" Dean said. Had Dean done something wrong? This had never happened to him before.

Dean brought his hands up to his face to try and rub some of the stress away.

His eyes widened when he smeared something warm and almost sticky on his forehead, eyes and cheeks. He teared his eyes away from Castiel's to look at his hands.

Crimson red smeared all over Dean hands.

Dean gasped and before he could say anything there was a loud slam of a door and Cas was gone.

* * *

Helpful Criticism is always welcomed, reviews are loved. Please let me know what you think! :)


	2. Chapter 2

_**I noticed a HUGE mistake that I made, they never told each other their names, they just kinda...knew. I mean they DO sit beside each other in English class and Dean heard Cas' name when Gabriel said it in the circle but that was bad writing on me. Sorry! Just try to ignore that mistake.**_

_**I own nothing other than the plot!**_

* * *

Dean took in a shaky breath and stood up making his way to the door. He gripped the cold door nob, blood painting handle. Dean stared at the blood in horror.

Where had it come from and why was it there?

Why was Cas even bleeding, wouldn't he have gone and patched it up?

Did it hurt?

Dean went into auto pilot and made his way to the nearest, open bathroom. A few people he passed in the hallways started at him in horror and disgust.

He placed his hand on the smooth, cold metal and pressed it in. His hand felt like fire against the cold nob. He had to get the blood off. He felt as if it was piercing into his skin, he could feel it staining his hands.

Immediately, raw, frigid water flowed out and onto the sink making a splashing noise against the porcelain. Dean placed his hands under the water. The blood ran off his hands and soaked against the now red sink.

He collected the water in his hand and splashed it on his face again and again making sure everything was gone.

Once all of the blood was off and down the drain Dean started scrubbing at his face viciously, making sure all the blood was off. He rubbed so hard his face was red and raw. He looked up into the mirror at his reflection.

Clear water was dripping off the tips of his light brown hair and his face was red from all the scrubbing.

He looked into his eyes and saw how frightened he actually was. he scanned over his face and landed on his lip. His bottom lip was a little swollen and in the middle was a small bruise with a little gap, where Cas's teeth had penetrated and broke open the skin.

Once he was done looking himself he patted his face down with a towel that was hanging over the drying rack and he walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs in search for his younger brother.  
He had to get out of there.

After a bit of looking he found Sam liplocked with some blond chick.

"Sam what the hell!" He yelled in anger and over the loud boom of the music. In response, Sam pried one of his large hands out of her mess of hair and held his index finger up.

Dean was just about to charge at the kid when he felt a rough hand on his broad shoulder. The other persons fingers dug into his skin and through his thin shirt. Whoever it was pulled him back.

"What the fuck do you want!" He growled, venom dripping from every word as he spun around ready to punch whoever it was.  
To his surprise it was Gabriel.

"Let me deal with this, I'll bet you 40 dollars I can get him away from that demon." And with that Gabriel strutted his way over to where Sam was and peeled the women off of Sam, pushed her away, and basically sat in Sam lap.

"Hey Sam." Gabriel said smoothly.

Sam had the most confused look on his face, his brows pulled together, all the lust melting from his eyes.

"Where'd Ruby go?" He said in a deep, husky voice.

"She had to go. Hey, want to leave this dump and go get something to eat?" Gabriel replied dragging his finger up and down Sams arm in a soft motion.

"Uh, I uh I guess, I-sure." Sam slurred.

With that Gabriel took Sams hand in his and pulled him up. When Sam stood he towered over Gabriel with his large figure. He started to sway a bit but Gabriel put his hands on either side of the other mans chest to keep him up right.

Dean had to close his mouth to stop flies from entering. Sam was could be such a little bitch about some things, and he would have been a bitch about this. How in the hell did Gabriel do that!?

Gabriel put his arm around Sam to help keep him balanced before he practically pranced over to Dean with a victorious smirk plastered on his face. He pulled one brow up before talking.

"I need you help me out with something." Gabriel said oh so casually.

Dean eyes narrowed. He should have known the shorter man would have wanted something out of him.

"What do you want?"

"I need you to find Cas and talk to him."

* * *

_Kinda short I know, only 750 words(without the AN) this time I'm sorry! I'll try to make it longer next time._

_I hope everyone's okay with a little bit of Sabriel, the next chapter will be full of Destiel I promise._

_I have a Tumblr! If you want to follow me my url is We-Spilt-Blood-You-Assbutt._

_Thanks for favouriting, following and reviewing!_


	3. Chapter 3

DEANS POV

After a bit of arguing Dean was able to pull Gabriel (and an very intoxicated Sam) away from the loud party and down the street to talk. They leaned up against an old apartment building.

"Okay what the hell, you want me to talk to you brother? Why don't you?" Dean said cocking an eyebrow.

Gabriel threw his hands in the air but quickly brought them back to help support Sam's large figure from falling to the ground.

"I can't because he wont listen to me Dean! I'm serious here, he's going to do something I know he's going to regret!"

"Yeah, what could he possibly do that would be so bad?" Dean challenged.

"Can you just please help me here! Just listen to me! I helped you out now could you have the decadency to help me?" Gabriel cried out in despair.

Before Dean could respond Sam started giggling. Dean narrowed his eyes even more.

"Sam, what the fuck did you take!?" Dean snapped.

"I dunno mannn, I think Ruby called it cocaniinne!" Sam replied happily.

It was then Dean noticed how Sams once beautiful, hazels eyes were now blood shot, puffy and pupils dilated.

"You took what?" Dean bursted out making people around the group stare.

Dean charged forward ready to kill Sam. Before Gabriel could do anything the two brothers came tumbling toward the concrete.

Dean brought his fist back and collided with soft flesh. A disgusting crunch after crunch echoed the night.

"Dean! That's enough! It' not going to help anything!"

Dean didn't care, he didn't listen. He kept pulling his fist back and hitting Sam again and again.

Images of the kiss with Cas, the blood, confusing blood that tainted his hands and face came rushing back. His thoughts he had about other men, the oh so confusing thoughts. Dean wasn't gay. He couldn't be gay. Not even for Cas.

Images of his one night stand with Ruby and ditching her after sex came back to him. She did this out of revenge!

All the words his father slurred at him when he was drunk, all the words that were so true the hurt came rushing back.

The nights when he was younger when he cried himself to sleep because of being the reason his mom had died. The reason Sammy would never know their mom.

Dean just saw all red and kept hitting.

Sam tried to fight back but Dean was relentless. Sam eventually cried out in pain and he pitifully brought his arms up and tried to cover his face from any more damage.

Painful fingers dug into Dean shoulder and he was thrown off of his brother right before he was about to bring his fist back down on Sams nose.

Once he connected with the ground his back smashed against the ground and his head collided against a building. His vision clouded a little bit. He waited for the fog to blow over before he groaned and slowly sat up.

Everything came back to him in waves. He could still feel Sammy's face breaking under his bloody knuckles. His eyes widened and he looked over to where his brother was.

Gabriel was sitting beside Sam with his head in his hands, his shoulders raising and falling, loud sobs filled the air. Sam was sitting up. He looked horrible. His nose was bleeding profoundly, there was blood running down his lips, onto his chin and then dripping off his chin and onto the soft grass. He couldn't even open his left eye, blood and tears were caked under the eye, his forehead had a huge gap with more blood pouring out and he had various cuts on his cheeks.

Dean had done all that.

He just beat the living shit out of his little brother when he clearly should have beat the living shit out of the little bitch who had tempted Sam. Sure Sam knew it was wrong but the damn slut was just trying to get back at Dean. Dean should have never let Sammy come to the party with him. He should have made him stay home.

Dean should have never kissed Cas.

And he certainly should not have taken it out on Sam.  
Dean could feel his lunch coming back up.

Sam looked over to where Dean was, seeing Dean awake, fear flashed through his eyes and he shuffled back the slightest bit.

Dean felt tears collect in his eye. He scrambled up on his feet and stumbled over to his car as fast he could. He ripped the door open before sinking into the seat. He slammed his door shut and struggled to get his keys out of his pocket. He fumbled a few times before turning the key and starting the car. A familiar purr broke through the silence. Dean stepped on the gas peddle, he had to get the fuck out of there.

The road was blurry and Dean was reckless. He simple didn't care. Tears started streaming down his face but he scrubbed at the viciously trying to get rid of them. Dean Winchester never cried!

He gripped the steering wheel tight feeling pain spread threw his knuckles, his attention drifted to them.

Dried and fresh blood was spattered over them. Some of it was looked like it was smeared, most looked like it was forced on.

Dean looked away from his hand in time to see a figure crossing the street in front of him. He stepped on the brake peddle and pulled his wheel to the side avoiding whoever it was just barley. a loud screech from his tires in protest let Dean know that was probably a horrible thing for his poor baby.

He pulled the wheel back the other way before finally coming to a stop. Thankfully he hadn't run the person or anything else.

Angrily he tossed his door open and lifted himself from the car literary ready to kill who ever it was.

But, he didn't, he couldn't, because the person was Cas.

"Cas what the fuck are you doing out here!"

The other man froze before slowly turning around. His eyes were blood shot and he looked like a deer caught in head lights.

"H-hey what's wrong?" Dean asked all his anger gone.

Cas mumbled something that Dean couldn't catch and when Dean asked again Cas exploded.

"I was trying to fucking kill myself okay! I can't fucking take it anymore! I can't fucking do it anymore and no one fucking cares so excuse me while I try it again!." With that Cas started to walk away.  
Dean took a few minutes to realize what just happened but when he did he took off after Cas.

"Hey man, wait!" He caught up with him and latched onto his hand.

"Why don't we take a drive?"

Dean had eventually persuaded Cas to follow him into the car before the two of them started driving around.

"Okay so wha-whats wrong?" Dean was never good with this type of shit but he could give it a try. Maybe this is what Gabriel wanted to tell Dean?

Cas looked at Dean questionably before calmly responding. "I tried to kill myself."

"Why?"

"Because I deserved it."

Dean nearly swerved. No one ever deserved to die.

"Wh-when you kissed me.. Did you.. Did you see?" Cas asked in a low voice.

"Noticed what?" Dean asked not talking his eyes off the road.

"The blood.. My cuts.."

"Yeah." Dean really didn't know what else to say so he blurted out,

"how'd they get there?"

"Well, I put them there myself."

* * *

I want to interact with you guys a bit so I'm going to ask a question every time I update and if you want you and can answer! The very first question is

Question: how did you get into supernatural?

I hope to hear from you all. Thanks for all the follows, favouirtes and reviews! I love you all. :D

A few thing I want to add, Ruby is not a demon I just picture it as something Gabriel would say!


	4. Chapter 4

**DEANS POV**  
After a bit of arguing Dean was able to pull Gabriel (and an very intoxicated Sam) away from the loud party and down the street to talk. They leaned up against an old apartment building.  
"Okay what the hell, you want me to talk to you brother? Why don't you?" Dean said cocking an eyebrow.  
Gabriel threw his hands in the air but quickly brought them back to help support Sam's large figure from falling to the ground.  
"I can't because he wont listen to me Dean! I'm serious here, he's going to do something I know he's going to regret!"  
"Yeah, what could he possibly do that would be so bad?" Dean challenged.  
Gabriel couldn't just blurt out what he thought Castiel might do because that would indeed scare Dean.  
"Can you just please help me here! Just listen to me! I helped you out now could you have the decadency to help me back out?" Gabriel cried out in despair.  
Before Dean could respond Sam started giggling. Dean narrowed his eyes even more.  
"Sam, what the fuck did you take!?" Dean snapped.  
"I dunno mannn, I think Ruby called it cocaniinne!" Sam replied happily.  
It was then Dean noticed how Sams once beautiful, hazels eyes were now blood shot, puffy and pupils dilated.  
"You took what?" Dean bursted out making people around the group stare.  
Dean charged forward ready to kill Sam. Before Gabriel could do anything the two brothers came tumbling toward the concrete.  
Dean brought his fist back and collided with untainted flesh. A disgusting crunch after crunch echoed the night.  
"Dean! That's enough! It' not going to help anything!"  
Dean didn't care, he didn't listen. He kept pulling his fist back and hitting Sam again and again.

Images of the kiss with Cas, the blood, confusing blood that tainted his hands and face came rushing back. His thoughts he had about other men, the oh so confusing thoughts. Dean wasn't gay. He couldn't be gay. Not even for Cas.  
Images of his one night stand with Ruby and ditching her after sex came back to him. She did this out of revenge!  
His jealously over Sam and how Sam was always better at everything than he was came rushing back. All the words his father slurred at him when he was drunk, all the words that were so true the hurt came rushing back.  
The nights when he was younger when he cried himself to sleep because of being the reason his mom had died. The reason Sammy would never know their mom.  
Dean just saw all red and kept hitting.

Sam tried to fight back but Dean was relentless. Sam eventually cried out in pain and he pitifully brought his arms up and tried to cover his face from any more damage.

Painful fingers dug into Dean shoulder and he was thrown off of his brother right before he was about to bring his fist back down on Sams nose.

Once he connected with the ground his back smashed against the ground and his head collided against a building. His vision clouded a little bit. He waited for the fog to blow over before he groaned and slowly sat up.

Everything came back to him in waves. He could still feel Sammys face breaking under his bloody knuckles. His eyes widened and he looked over to where his brother was.

Gabriel was sitting beside Sam with his head in his hands, his shoulders raising and falling, loud sobs filled the air. Sam was sitting up. He looked horrible. His nose was bleeding profoundly, there was blood running down his lips, onto his chin and then dripping off his chin and onto the soft grass. He couldn't even open his left eye, blood and tears ware caked under the eye, his forehead had a huge gap with more blood pouring out and he had various cuts on his cheeks.

Dean had done all that. He just beat the living shit out of his little brother when He clearly should have beat the living shit out of the little slut who had tempted Sam. Sure Sam knew it was wrong but the damn slut was just trying to get back at Dean. Dean should have never let Sammy come. He should have made him stay home.  
Dean should have never kissed Cas.  
And he certainly should not have taken it out on Sam.  
Dean could feel his lunch coming back up.  
Sam looked over to where Dean was, seeing Dean awake, fear flashed through his eyes and he shuffled back the slightest bit.

Dean felt tears collect in his eye. He scrambled up onto his feet and stumbled over to his car as fast he could. He ripped the door open before sinking into the seat. He slammed his door shut and struggled to get his keys out of his pocket. He fumbled a few times before turning the key and starting the car. A familiar purr broke through the silence of the car and Dean stepped on the gas peddle. He had to get the fuck out of there.

The road was blurry and Dean was reckless. He simple didn't care. Tears started streaming down his face but he scrubbed at the viciously trying to get rid of them. Dean Winchester never cried! Crying was for pussies and Dean Winchester was not a pussy.

He gripped the steering wheel tight, feeling pain spread threw his knuckles, his attention drifted to them.

Dried and fresh blood was splattered over them. Some of it was Sam's, some was his.

Dean looked away from his hand in time to see a figure crossing the street in front of him. He stepped on the brake peddle and pulled his wheel to the side avoiding whoever it was just barley. a loud screech from his tires in protest let Dean know that was probably a horrible thing for his poor baby.  
The car spun out of control, taking up the whole road. Dean puulled the wheel back the other way before finally coming to a stop.  
Dean took in a deep breath and pried his fingers off the steering wheel.  
Thankfully he hadn't run the person or anything else.  
Angrily he tossed his door open and lifted himself from the car literary ready to kill who ever it was.  
But, he didn't, he couldnt, because the person was Cas.  
"Cas what the fuck are you doing out here!"

The other man froze before slowly turning around. His eyes were blood shot and he looked like a deer caught in head lights.  
"H-hey what's wrong?" Dean asked all his anger gone. Cas mumbled something that Dean couldn't catch and when Dean asked again Cas exploded.  
"I was trying to fucking kill myself okay! I can't fucking take it anymore! I can't fucking do it anymore and no one fucking cares so excuse me while I try it again!." With that Cas started to walk away.  
Dean took off after Cas.  
"Hey man, wait!" He caught up with him and latched onto his hand.  
"Why don't we take a drive?"

Dean had eventually persuaded Cas to follow him into the car before the two of them started driving around around without a direction to go.  
His baby was pretty out of alignment, Dean would have to fix her up when he got back to Bobby's.  
"Okay so wha-whats wrong?" Dean was never good with this type of shit but he could give it a try. Maybe this is what Gabriel wanted to tell Dean?  
Cas looked at Dean questionably before calmly responding. "I tried to kill myself."  
"Why?"  
"Because I deserved it."  
Dean nearly swerved. No one ever deserved to die.  
"Wh-when you kissed me.. Did you.. Did you see?" Cas asked in a low voice totally unfazed by Dean's shitty driving..  
"Noticed what?" Dean asked not talking his eyes off the road.  
"The blood.. My cuts.."  
"Yeah." Of course he noticed. The blood was all over his face.  
Dean really didnt know what else to say so he blurted it  
"How'd they get there?"  
"Well, I put them there myself."

* * *

Sorry the end got sloppy, I'm just too tired, I had to stop but I had to finish this chapter. I tried to make this one angsty but I don't think I did a very good job lol.

I want to interact with you guys a bit so I'm going to ask a question every time I update and if you want you and can answer! The very first question is

Question: how did you get into supernatural?

I hope to hear from you all. Thanks for all the follows, favouirtes and reviews! I love you all. :D

A few thing I want to add, Ruby is not a demon I just picture it as something Gabriel would say!

Annnnddd last but not least, new episode tonight though!** CHARLIES BACK BITCHES!**  
**_THIS WAS EDITED :D_**


	5. Chapter 5

"I can't believe I did that." He gently rubbed his thumb against it with a sad smile.  
"Don't worry about it man, no harm done."  
It was Cas's turn to chuckle.  
Deans eyes softened when he heard the noise.  
"No harm? Dean I split your lip open and all you have to say is no harm done?"  
"Hey Cas, want to stay the night at my place tonight?"

Warnings: mentions of self harm, child abuse

Dean's pov

Dean had convinced Bobby to let him have a friend spend the night. Bobby was a little concerned about why they were both so beat up looking but Dean swiftly lied through it saying they were just rough housing.

When Bobby mentioned Sam Dean just simply said Sam had a little too much and ended up crashing at the party. Bobby just chuckled, called them idjits and went back to watching tv.

Cas was reluctant to staying the night but eventually gave in.  
Dean told Castiel to lay down on the bed and get comfortable. Cas gave him a fearful look but Dean just simply explained he was going to get one of the camping cots and Castiel could sleep on the bed tonight.

Cas nodded and Dean turned and left to go into the kitchen to get a drink. As he passed the kitchen he saw Bobby snoring softly on the couch. Dean smiled fondly at the sight.

Dean knew he had to clean his knuckles and he was reluctant too but he knew it was a must. Dean went into the bathroom and grabbed a cloth, bandages, and polysporin.

He turned the water on the sink cold and watched as the water flowed. He placed his knuckles under the pure liquid and watched it turn red and a sickly brown.

Once all the blood was gone Dean could see how bad his knuckles really were.

Almost every other knuckle had a cut on it and his long slender fingers were covered in cuts also. The surrounding area was red and a disgusting yellow.

Memories of Sam's bones breaking under his skin relapsed in Deans head.

He suddenly felt very sick. He could feel a heavy heave coming over him.

He rushed over to the toilet, double over it and released what little he had in his stomach.

He gripped the toilet waiting for the awful dry heaves to stop.

When he was done he leaned against the wall and pressed his hot forehead against the cold wall. Hot tears spilled from his eyes. Sam must hate him by now and if Sam didn't hate him then Dean could hate himself enough for the two of them.

He buried his head into his hands and sobbed.

Dean must have fallen asleep sitting against the wall because when he opened his eyes it was bright out. His mouth tasted like vomit, his back hurt and his head was pounding like a son of a bitch.  
Dean tried to remember what the hell actually happened last night and why he was on the floor.

He pried through his brain trying to pick out the important parts about last night. He remembered Castiel had spent the night.  
Dean never came back into his room like he promised.

He jumped up and pried the door open before tumbling into his room.  
Thankfully, there was a lump of blankets, pillows and what looked like another human on his bed. Dean let out a shaky sigh before going to his dresser. His alarm clock glowed 8:11 AM. He might as well have a shower.

When Dean came out of the shower, fully dressed he saw Cas was awake and reading one of Dean's car magazines on his bed. Thank god it was just a car magazine.

"Morin Sunshine!" Dean said happily. Cas looked up at Dean and his eyes widened.

Dean eye's narrowed at this "What?"

"N-nothing." Cas mummered looking away.

Dean gave him a weird look before going to sit beside Castiel on the bed.

"Do you want to have a shower?" Cas nodded.

"Alright, uh want to borrow some clothes?" Again, Castiel just nodded.

"Okay just gimme a minute."

Dean looked over Cas for a few seconds before deciding what would hopefully fit him.

Dean rifled through his messy dresser before he pulled out a simple, black long v neck and a pair of old jeans that no longer fit him.

"If the pants don't fit, you can borrow a belt." Dean spoke.  
Cas thanked him before going off into the shower.

Dean decided that Castiel was probably hungry and he should probably start to make some food. He made his way the short flight of stairs in search for something edible. On his way to the kitchen Dean noticed Bobby on his computer, probably researching something. Bobby looked up to watch Dean coming down the stairs.

"You're up pretty early." Bobby commented, eyes reverting back to the screen.

"Yeah, I just, I guess I couldnt sleep." Dean shrugged. Above them the water in the bathroom turned off leaving the only noise left was Bobby typing away at his computer.

Dean dragged his feet into the kitchen and he opened up the fridge. There wasn't much in there. Alcohol, milk, eggs, left over steak and some old shitty take out food. Dean decided on the eggs.

"Bobby you up for eggs?" Dean asked, poking his head out of the kitchen to stare at Bobby.

Bobby simply shook his head no so Dean simply grabbed 4. 2 for him 2 for Cas.

Dean got a frying pan out of the cupboard and he turned the stove on.

Footstep could be heard coming down the stairs before they padded into the kitchen.

Cas looked around curiously and sighed a breath of relief when his eyes laid on Dean.

Dean looked at Cas and his breath was taken away. His shirt revealed quite a lot of his pale looking chest. The dark black brought out Cas's eyes even more than usual. Dean's pants hung to his hips a little better than they probably should have. his lips were slightly parted and the boys hair was still wet and very messy.

Castiel looked a lot better today. His lips looked a lot better today, the cut they required yesterday was just a little red, Dean could barley even tell Cas ever had an injury there.

His eye looked a thousand times better, it was just a little black under the eye layered with yellow. The red and purple that used to reach up to his eyebrow was just a slight yellow tinted with pink.

Dean had to pry his eyes away from the other boy before he started undressing him with his eyes.

Dean coughed before he talked.  
"I'm uh, making eggs want some?"  
"Sure."

Dean cracked two eggs before he turned around to look at Cas who was now sitting at the very crowded kitchen table.

It was crowded with Sam's homework.

Dean felt like he just got punched in the gut. He sucked it up and put on a game face.

"So how're ya feeling today?" Dean asked trying to sound nonchalant when he was actually pretty worried for the other boy.

Cas just shrugged.

"Okay I guess, your bed is really comfortable."

Dean could almost swear Cas was blushing.

"Uh, thanks?"

Castiel put his head down and started playing with his fingers. Dean turned his attention back to the eggs. He started playing around with them in the pan, flipping them, poking them, cutting them, anything he could do to them with the spatula he did.

Bobby entered the kitchen and leaned against the door frame.

"Hey Dean?" Dean turned the stove off deciding the eggs were cooked enough and started to put them on 2 different plates

"Yeah Bobby?" He replied, his back facing Bobby as he worked.

"Do you have any idea when your brother will be home today?"

Dean stopped dead in his tracks. He nearly dropped the plate he had in his hands.

He took in a deep shaky breath.

"Um I dunno, he never told me." Dean hated lying especially to Bobby. Bobby had given the boys so much and here Dean was lying right to his face. Dean was just a pussy and couldn't fucking man up.

Dean collected himself and brought the plates over to the table, setting one in front of Cas and one in front of himself.

"Okay, well, just let him know his teacher called me yesterday, she said if he keeps up the good work he'll make honor roll."

Dean smiled sadly for his little brother.

"Okay Bobby, I'll let him know."

Booby walked over to the counter and poured a tall glass of clear water for himself before sitting with the boys.

"I don't believe we met properly last night. Dean was in such a damn fuss he basically dragged you up stairs." Bobby scowled at Dean and Dean looked away, embarrassed.

"I'm Bobby." With that Bobby stuck his hand out over the old, crowded table.

"I am Castiel Novak." Castiel replied in a small voice trying not to let it break.

Bobby had a strong, firm grip and they briefly shook hands before Bobby released Castiel's smaller hand. Bobby eyed him wearily but turned to Dean.

"So what are you guys going to do today?"

"We have no idea." Dean chuckled.

Bobby looked between the two of them before grabbing his water and getting up. "Alright, well, I'll let you two get back to whatever it is you two do." And with that Bobby left.

Once they were all done breakfast Dean cleaned up and they went back into Dean's room while Bobby went out to get a few groceries.

Dean had collect a few large bandages, a bottle of Bobby's shitty alcohol(he'd never notice it was gone,) a cup of lukewarm water and a small wash cloth.

Cas was shirtless laying on the bed. While Dean gently cleaned Castiel's cuts.

Dean was honestly surprise that his cuts weren't already infected. There must have been at least 10 big cuts that were still healing on his stomach.

Dean tipped the alcohol bottle over the cup and let the liquid flow out. As soon as he tipped it he pulled it back. Dean swirled the concoction inside the plastic cup around so that the alcohol didn't just float at the top. Once Dean was stratified he dipped the cloth in the water a brought it over to Cas's stomach, a bit of excess water dripped onto the bed.

Dean could never wrap his head around why someone in their right mind would do such a thing as to harm themselves, but Castiel wasn't in his right mind, and for some odd reason Dean wanted to help him.

Dean slowly pressed the cloth against one of the larger, newer cuts and looked up at Castiel to see if he was in pain or not. Castiel was just resting his head against the pillows with his eyes closed. He appeared to be in little to no pain at all.

"Lets play 20 question." Dean suggested.

Castiel cracked one of his eyes open to look at Dean to make sure Dean was serious.

"Sure, I guess."

"I'll go first."

"Okay."

Dean paused for a minute trying to think of how to phrase his question.

"Do you have any other brothers or sisters?"

Castiel gave Dean a questioning look. His brows pulled together, his lips pulled into a tight line and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Dean I do not believe this is how we play this particular game. If I remember correctly, person A, in this case I am person A, thinks of something and person B, you, has to guess what it is using only 20 questions."

"Shut up I like my way better" Dead replied warmly. Castiel just sighed before resting his head back on the pillow and let Dean work.

"Aside from Gabriel I have 3 other siblings."

"Woah, 5 of you all under one roof, that must suck."

Dean dipped the cloth back in the cup to collect more water.

"I quite enjoy my siblings company."

"Whatever, its your turn dude."

"Oh um, what do I do?" Cas looked at Dean waiting for his response.

For some odd reason this just felt so... natural to Dean. It really shouldn't, he should be freaking out, he should be looking for Sammy and apologizing, he should be grossed out for even getting this close to another guy but instead he just wanted to wrap Castiel up in his arms and make sure nothing else bad ever comes to the odd blue eyed boy.

"Just ask me a question and I'll answer." Dean said smiling up at Cas.

Castiel took a moment before asking.

"How old are you?"

Dean chuckled "17, how old are you?

"18."

Dean's eyes widen, he didn't expect Castiel to be older than him.

"Dean, is it my turn?" Cas asked curiously. Dean nodded.

Castiel took a second before asking again, trying to think of something.

"Is Bobby your guardian or your father?"

Dean's face fell. He didn't want to answer that.

"Naw, Bobby's just my guardian." Dean replied in a small voice.

"What happened to your parents Dean?" The way Castiel asked the question, in such a gentle voice, Dean almost shuddered.

Dean gulped before responding.

"My.. My mom died in a house fire and me and my brother were taken away from my dad when we were younger." Dean kept his eyes glued on his hands as he worked.

An uncomfortable silence settled in between them. Of course Castiel had to bring his parents up. Dean was pissed. Everything was going pretty okay, than the fucking moron just had to open a whole new can of worms. He couldn't have ask anything fucking normal like where Dean got the impala or what Dean's favourite colour was. Dean wanted to make Castiel just as pissed and uncomfortable as he was and he planned on doing so.

"Hey Cas, where'd you get your black eye?" Dean asked casually.

"My mother hit me a few days ago. It was my fault I suppose, I embarrassed her in public."

Oh.

Dean couldn't tell what he felt, it wasn't pity but more like sorrow and anger. Dean felt enraged that anyone would ever hurt someone so innocent and pure as Cas. And he felt sad because he wasn't there to shelter Castiel from the abuse.

Dean regretted asking.

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered finished up on the last cut and putting the cloth on the table.

Castiel sat up, staring openly at Dean

"Why are you sorry, Dean?" Castiel asked genuinely confused.

"I.. I just shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's alright Dean, it does not upset m-"

"But it should!" Dean barked pushing himself closer to Castiel. Dean could feel Castiel's startled breath on his lips. Castiel flinched, eyes wide with fear.

Dean's eyes also widen, shocked he had exploded like that. He heaved himself away from the frightened man.

"I'm sorry." Castiel replied.

Dean couldn't handle this. He felt like he was suffocating. Memories that he had manged to block out came rushing back like a tidal wave completely and utterly destroying any walls he had put up.

_"Dean get your ass in here now!" A 13 year old Dean trembled on the spot hearing the word._

_"I'm sorry Dad! I really am! I wont do it again! I promise I wont!"_  
_He stumbled into the messy bedroom._

_"Yeah, well, you said that last time now come here." Dean couldn't move, he was paralyzed on the spot._

_"Now!" His dad's voice seemed to vibrate off the walls and trap themselves inside Deans head._

_Dean scurried over to his dad only to be welcomed by a large hand connecting with the side of his little face. The impact caused Dean to stumble back. He tripped over his little feet and landed on his side with a "thump"_

_Sobs racked his body as his dad shadowed over him._  
_"Please no more Dad! I'm sorry!" He screamed._

"Dean! Dean!" Bright green eyes laced with tears flew open to connect with ocean blue ones. As soon as their eyes connected relief soaked into Castiel's eye. The relief was soon washed away with concern.

Dean gripped onto Castiel like he was the only thing anchoring him to reality. He looked around his room in a hurry. It slowly dawned on him that he was no longer 13 or any where near his dad.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm okay." Dean whispered. "I'm alright." Dean painted on a fake bright smile, teeth and all. Castiel looked reluctant to believe him but he tried.

"Hey, uh, lets get ice cream?" Dean smiled and Cas smiled slightly before nodding.

Dean patched up the rest of Cas's cuts with the bandages he had gotten and the two of them were off.

Dean ended up buying chocolate and Cas got vanilla. They were sitting in the impala enjoying their treat.

"You know, I honestly never thought I'd ever be doing this." Castiel said truthfully, licking at his ice cream.

"Doing what?" Dean asked confused.

"This. Sitting here eating ice cream with you in your car." Castiel chuckled.

"To be honest, I never even thought about it." Dean chuckled. Dean's chuckled was cut short when a small yelp emitted into the car.

"Crap!" Dean looked over to see Castiel trying to stop his ice cream from falling off the cone, using his hands. He had the most adorable, constrained and frightened look on his face. Dean barked out a laugh which caused Castiel to jump slightly, he looked over at Dean and glared.

Dean swiftly leaned over the seats in the impala and took a huge bite out of the ice cream that was falling off.

Castiel stared at him in bewilderment and horror.

"You're a freaking ape, Dean Winchester." Castiel stated a little dazed.

Dean broke out in hysterical laughter. Soon Cas broke out into a smile and also started laughing along with Dean. When they were done Dean was clearing tears from his eyes and Castiel was catching his breath.

"Damn, I haven't laughed that hard in years." Dean said a huge smile plastered on his face.

Castiel nodded.

It didn't take long for them to realize that they both had their personal demons that they had to deal with, but together they felt better, stronger and maybe, just maybe, together if they helped each other, they could past their inner demons and defeat them together.

* * *

If you havent already you should go follow my Tumblr, because sometimes I post stuff about this story on there and sometimes I need help finding a word or I need ideas. My url is _ We-Spilt-Blood-You-Assbutt_

**Today question:** Is there anything you'd guys would like to see with this story? For example, happy/sad endings, certain characters being added in, a certain location, ect?


	6. Chapter 6

_**IMPORTANED A/N UPDATES ARE GOING TO PROBABLY SLOW DOWN. I don't know if it'll go back to every day but I know for sure it's going to slow down. my exams are a few months away so the teachers are starting to slam me with homework.**_

_Warnings: __This is alllllll Sabriel. You don't have to read this, I do not believe it had anything too important that will tie in with the story__._

* * *

**Sam's pov.**  
(Going back to the night of the party.)

I hissed out in pain as I placed ice on my eye. "I'm going to kill that little shit!" Gabriel exploded angrily.

I was currently at Gabriel's house sitting on his bed.

"No you're not" I grunted in response.

"Yes I fucking am! Look at what he did to you Sammy!" Gabriel came over and sat in front of me looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Ah, it's nothing he was just mad." I lied trying to keep Gabriel grounded.

To be honest I was pissed, I was confused and maybe even a little scared of Dean. I couldn't believe he snapped like that. I knew he had issues but nothing like this.

"Sam fucking look at yourself!" I kept my eyes on Gabriel as he stood and stormed over to the wall, he yanked his large, at least 5 foot mirror off the wall and shoved it in my face.

My face really was a mess my nose was crooked and misshaped. My lips were cut open in more than one spot but I had cleaned most of the blood away. My forehead had a large cut, once the blood was whisked away it appeared smaller than originally thought. I had various small cuts on both my cheeks.

But, perhaps, the worst out of all the damage done was my left eye. I could now open it but the skin around it was becoming a dark purplish blackish colour and the actual white of my eye had turned a deep red making me look like some sort of monster. Thanks to the ice I could tell the swelling was starting to go down.

I looked away.

"No, you're not going to do anything to him because he IS my brother." I said determined.

"I'll just wait till you're asleep." Gabriel grumbled setting the mirror down.

"Why did he even hit you in the first place?" Gabriel said suddenly, fire ablaze in his eyes.

My eyes widen. Did Gabriel not hear me when I blurted out I had taken cocaine to Dean?

"Sam, answer me." Gabriel said in a hard tone.

"I.. I took drugs." I said putting my head down, my bangs shadowing my eyes.

This time Gabriel really exploded.

"Yeah well you don't fucking beat your little brother senseless over fucking drugs, Sam! Sure you might get addicted but he beat you so hard that you cant even look out of your fucking eye. He is just fucking fucked up." Gabriel threw his hand up in the air.

"Woah" I breathed out staring at the other man in the room. His eyes were glowing with hatred and anger. He looked like he was ready to kill.

"Gabriel come here." I whispered with my arms open. He walked over to me and wrapped his hands around my back and held me tight.

"Castiel told me he wants to kill himself. I told him he was being ridiculous and that he wouldn't. He ran out of the party and.. I knew.. I just...the look in his eye told me he wasn't kidding."

My eyes widened at the sudden confession.

Castiel was suicidal?

My plaid button up shirt was soon soaked with tears as Gabriel started sobbing. My heart broke for him.  
"Oh Gabriel" I breathed out and stroked his hair. "He probably won-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before he crashed his lips onto mine. My eyes widened and I stared down at him. Gabriel liked me?

Gabriel pushed himself onto me and snaked his hand into my hair, pulling me further down. I closed my eyes and placed my hands on his waist. He slide his tongue over my lower lip and I gladly opened up for him. He tasted like chocolate and mint.

He groaned into the kiss and pushed me back onto the bed. The two of us landed in a heap of limbs and blankets with a light 'thump' when our chest collided.

Gabriel hoisted himself up so he was hovering above me. His eyes filled with lust and adoration. He slid his hands under my shirt and lifted it over my head, only breaking the kiss briefly.

It was then I was brought back into reality and I realized were this was going.

I wasn't ready for this.

I started to panic.

"Gab- Gabriel." I said pulling away. He pulled me back and started working on my jaw and going down to my neck. He started sucking on a certain spot. I let out a gasp as he bit down and returned to kissing my neck.

I panicked even more.

"Gabriel I don't think I'm ready for this." I said all at once pushing him back gently.

He looked up at me with big honey brown eyes. He searched my eyes for any indication of a lie. When he found none he pulled away and sighed. He picked himself up and flopped over to the other side of the bed.

I gave a sheepish smile and blushed, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." I said in a small voice.

"Ah don't be, it was my fault." He countered with a warm smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

Gabriel snaked his arm around my waist and pulled into me, indicating he was ready for sleep.

"Shouldn't we turn off the light?" I chuckled lightly. He simply grunted in response before untangling himself from me and literally rolling off the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thump.

"Oh God! Are you okay!" I jumped up trying to see him. He grumbled getting up and dragging his feet over to the door. A soft click filled the air and the room was filled with darkness. Gabriel trudged back over to the bed and collapsed before curling back into me. I let out a soft laugh.

"G'night Sam."

"Good night Gabriel"

* * *

IVE NEVER WRITTEN SABRIEL BEFORE WAS IT OKAY?

This actually came as a surprise. I didn't plan on writing a chapter just for these two but a few people wanted to know what was up with Sam. Don't worry the boys should be confronting eachother in the next chapter.

THE FLUFF AT THE END WAS GOOD RIGHT?

ALSO It's probably confusing as to why their at the Novak's house, when the Novak abuse their children, well I'll explain it in hopefully the next chapter if not the next

**Question for today:** _Would you guys be cool if I changed the title or do you guys want it to stay the same? The title I have now has nothing to do with the story, but the other title I've been playing around would tie in nicely._


	7. Chapter 6 and a half

_*Not gunna lie, this is was more of an update than an actual chapter.*_

DEAN'S POV.

I stood in front of Sam's door having a mental battle with myself on whether or not I should knock on the door or not.  
After getting ice cream with Cas, I dropped him off and came home to find Sam's shoes at the door, his coat on the hook and his endless amount of homework off the table.

After a few more moments of deciding I took a deep breath and knocked on the door waiting for a response. When I didn't get one I knocked a little harder. I knew he was in there because I could hear the soft tune of some song that I didn't recognized.

I knocked with more force this time. "Sammy, come on, let me in man." I whined.

When I again got no response I placed my hand on the handle, knowing he was going to be a bitch about this.

"I hope you don't have a girl in there Sam, cause I'm about to come in!" I chuckled nervously.

I opened the door with out much trouble to see Sam on his computer with his back turned to me. He was writing something that I could quite see at this distance. His homework was scattered all over his desk and bed, his hair was a mess and he was in a pair of grey sweat pants and a simple blue shirt

"Hey man, are- are you okay?" I asked gently taking a step into his room.

Sam slowly turned around and I couldn't help but gasp. His face. It looked as if he had been hit by a two by four over and over. How could I have done that? I_ had_ done that. How could he even see out of his eye!? It was then the guilt started to suffocate me. What the fuck was wrong with me why would I do that to him? And then have the nerve to ignore him and not worry about him. I couldn't breath.

"I am so so sorry Sam." I whispered my eye locked on his bloodshot one.

"It's.. I can't.." Sam sucked in a breath. "Ju- just go away Dean." He mumbled looking down with anguish pooling in his dark eyes.

I felt like I had just received a blow to the gut.

"O-okay." I said prying my eyes off his and looking down. Sam nodded slightly before turning back his computer.

I turned around and let my hand ghost over the door handle. "Bobby wanted me to tell you that you're going to make honor roll." I whispered before yanking the door open and practically running out of the room.

* * *

NOT THE SAM/DEAN YOU GUYS WANTED IM AM SORRY BUT THAT'LL COME IN TIME

Okay this was short, so very short, BUT I'M WORKING ON THE NEXT PART RIGHT Now and it should be done in a few hours! :D I just wanted SOMETHING out for you guys and as soon as I could.

Updates are probably going to be more frequent now. One of the courses I'm taking is dance and it was most of the homework I had but I sprained my ankle. It sucks because I love dance and I love being active but now I need to take some time off. So, I guess what I'm saying is that I should have a lot of free time on my hands now. I would have updated sooner today but I slept for most of the day so I am sorry. I'm taking tomorrow off so expect a long chapter up tomorrow.

I didn't want to explain Sam's face again because its pretty much the same and I gross myself out and make myself cringe when I do lol.(I've never had a broken face like that so I look up pictures on google images and then just basically describe them. Think of it as copy and pasting.)  
Again sorry for the long authors note.

Question for today: Do the long authors notes piss you guys off? Do you want me to make them smaller or no authors not at all (I can do that.)


	8. Chapter 7

_**Warnings**_:_ Gay bashing, bullying_

Sunday was pretty uneventful for Dean. After he ran out of Sam's room he stayed in his room with his music cranked as he drifted in and out of consciousnesses.

Monday had also been uneventful. Dean went to school, talked to Jo a little, went to his classes and now he was on his way home.

Dean had just finished dumping all his books into his locker when he heard a loud smack followed by a low whimper. Dean stopped dead in his tracks.

"What the hell" He cursed quietly before going to investigate. The halls were pretty empty because the bell to dismiss the kids had gone off about 20 minutes ago. Dean would have left earlier but his damn history teacher made him stay behind to talk to him about his grades.

As Dean got closer to the end of the hall he heard a soft thump and someone that sounded awfully familiar spit out "fucking faggot."

Dean pushed the door at the end of the halls open to find Lucifer and Alistair shadowing over a familiar, trembling figure, all tangled up on the ground.

Dean grew up with Alistair, Dean considered them friends at one point but as they grew up the grew apart.

When they were younger Sam and Lucifer were friends but it turned out Lucifer was just using Sam.

Alistair and Lucifer had become friends and became class A dicks. They tormented and harassed anyone smaller then them.

"Hey!" Dean shouted throwing his bag to the floor and walking over.

"Ahh its so good of you to join us Dean! Why don't you help us out!" Alistair said slyly, Lucifer smirking behind him.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on that offer boys, but thanks." Dean walked over to the poor lump on the floor and offered his hand.

It took a while for him to figure out what was going on but Castiel lifted his head with wide, frightened eyes and looked at the hand, scared he was going to be hit again. Dean smiled gently and nodded, reassuring Castiel that he was going to be okay.

Slowly Castiel pulled his hand away from his face and placed it in Dean's and let himself be raised. He hissed in pain as he put weight on his right ankle. Dean wanted to kill other boys in the room for doing this to someone so innocent and pure.

"If you'll excuse us." Dean mumbled as he snaked his arm around Castiel's waist to keep him up.

"Winchester are you... Are you gay!?" Lucifer exclaimed with horrified eyes.

Castiel slumped against Dean and cowered under the threatening gaze.

"What's it to you?" Dean asked stepping forwards, dragging Castiel with him.

Alistair's eyes narrowed as he stepped forward. "You fucked him didn't you? You're just as bad as that faggot."

Dean felt a violent tremble rip through Castiel.

"No, I didn't fuck him." Dean spat taking a step towards Alistair this time.

Castiel tried to pull away but Dean held him firm.

No matter how pissed Dean was he knew there was no way in hell that he could take on Alistair and Lucifer and protect Cas. He had to think about Cas's safety here.

"You sure about that Winchester. You two look pretty fucking close there." Alistair smirked and gestured to Dean's arm protectively curled around Castiel.

Dean stepped forwards so he was right in Alistair's face. Dean used his height to his advantaged and sneered down at him.

Dean lowered his voice and pushed himself close to Alistair's ear.  
"Yeah, like you and Luci over there? Yeah, I get what you two freaks do in the dark."

Dean pulled away before he started up again. "Get the fuck out of here before I beat your asses." Dean said darkly.

Alistair's eye widened as he tumbled back. He quickly composed himself before he turned to Lucifer.

"Come on Lucifer, why waist out breath on little maggots like these two." He mumbled and booked it out of there.

Castiel relaxed against Dean and let out a breath. He held onto Dean like a life raft.

"Don't ever do that again." He said in a small voice.

When Dean didn't reply Castiel looked up at Dean with curious eyes.

Dean's eyes were wide and he was frozen on the spot still staring where Alistair had once been. Castiel, sensing Dean's discomfort froze up also.

"D-Dean, wha- what's wrong?" Castiel stuttered.

"They're.. They're fucking?" Dean whispered. Castiel let out a relieved laugh.

"I guess so."

"I was just bluffing... It was just... I was just trying to piss him off." Dean said eyes still wide. Slowly he loosened up and let out a loud laugh, Castiel soon joining.

Dean helped Castiel over to his baby and slowly let him into the car. Dean walked over and slid into the drivers seat. He turned put the key into the ignition to get the car started.

"So, do you want me to take you somewhere?" Dean said looking over at Castiel.

Castiel played with his bottom lip in his teeth. "Ca.. Can we go to your house?" Pink tinted his cheeks.

"Sure." Dean replied yanking his seat belt on and pulling out of the parking lot.

It didn't take them long to get to their destination. Dean pulled up to the house and pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Stay there." Dean instructed getting out and walking over to the passengers side.  
Dean pulled the door open and held his hand out. Castiel looked at it questionably but took it non the less. Dean's hand was surprisingly warm and soft.

Dean pulled Castiel up onto his feet and once again placed his hand on the other side of Castiel's slim waist and held him close. Way closer than necessary.

Dean shut the impala's door with his foot and helped Castiel hobble into the house and up to his room. Thankfully Bobby was at work right now. When they passed Sam's room Sam stared at them with wide, almost frightened eyes. Castiel just gave Sam a sheepish smile before being dragging into Dean's room.

"So ya can't put any pressure on it huh?" Dean said, gently lowering Castiel onto the bed.

"No."

Dean sighed before he disappeared out the door. Castiel tried to stand up to follow but as soon as he distributed his weight between his legs he let out a yelp of surprise, followed by a painfully hiss and he fell back onto the bed.

Dean reappeared carrying an ice pack wrapped in what looked like a towel. Dean walked over to his dressed and yanked random articles of clothing out.

"Lay back." Dean order and Castiel obeyed without a second thought.

Dean walked over and ever so gently he raised Castiel's sore ankle and rested it under neath his handful of clothes. He set Cas's foot back down and gently set the ice pack on top on his foot.

"Is that okay?" Dean asked looking up at Castiel, searching his eyes.

"Yes, thank you Dean, that is okay." Castiel echoed. Dean let out a sigh before he sat down on the bed beside Castiel's foot.

"Want to tell me what happen? Did those fucking assholes do this to ya?"

Castiel took in a breath before mumbling a quiet "Not really." Dean chuckled. "Alright that's co-" Castiel cut Dean off and begun his story anyways.

"I was walking out and Lucifer grabbed me and put his hand over my mouth. he pulled me into the stair case and told me to be silent. He waited until Alistair came. They knocked me to the ground and kicked me in the ribs. When I fell I tripped over my foot and twisted it. They kicked me about 5 times before you showed up" Castiel finished refusing to look at Dean.

As Castiel told his story anger accumulated and bubbled in Dean's stomach and before Dean could stop himself it made its way up and exploded. "Fucking bastards! What makes them think that they fucking own the school and they can just beat up people smaller than them"  
Dean jumping up from the bed.

Castiel flinched.

The movement caught Dean's eye and he sat back down with his head hung.

"Sorry." He mumbled looking away.

"It's okay." Castiel whispered.

After a few moments of silence Castiel spoke up.

"Why'd you come?" Dean looked over at Castiel and saw the other boy looking at him intensely.

"Why'd you come and help me?"

Dean opened his mouth and then shut it.

Why did he come to the other boy's rescue? Would he have let Lucifer and Alistair beat up someone else? Dean normally liked to stay out of shit like that. Did he like Castiel? As a friend or as something more? Dean always knew he liked guys to a certain degree but he never someone he could touch and talk to, all the other guys were fictional or on tv. Like Robert Down Jr. Or Dr. Sexy.

But Cas, Cas was real. His feelings were real. This was real. And it scared Dean.

When Dean didn't answer all hope washed out of Castiel's face and the other boy looked away.

"It's okay, you don't have to answer that Dean. I'm sorry for imposing, I should go home. Mother will be wondering where I am. Thank you for caring for me" Castiel went to pull the ice pack off his ankle and get up when Dean stopped him.

"Wh-what?" Dean stuttered.

"I'm afraid I don't understand Dean."

"Stay for dinner." Dean blurted out. Castiel's eyes widened.

"I- I couldn't. Mother would be furious."

"Call her and tell her."

"Dean.."

"Please?" Dean was practically begging now and it drove Castiel insane. He knew he shouldn't say yes. He should say no and punish himself for the sinful thoughts but instead he did the exact opposite.

"O-okay."

* * *

How I explained Cas spraining his ankle is how I sprained my ankle, just I was dancing. I tripped over my own foot, I twisted it and fell onto of it. Shockingly this is not the first time I've done sprained my ankle this way. For a dancer I don't think I'm very graceful.

IThank you for all the reviews, favourite, follows and the love and support. I love you all! :)

**Lets go with a normal question shall we?**: _Favourite Spn episode?_


	9. Chapter 8

Dean beamed up at Castiel and Castiel nearly had a heart attack. Dean had such a breath taking smile he couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, so I don't think Bobby's gunna be home for dinner so that mean's we're going to have make something."

Castiel nodded.

"Here climb onto my back." Dean suggested as he crouched in front of Castiel.

"I-I'm not doing that Dean." Castiel stuttered.

"Why not?"

"Because that's humiliating."

"Aw, it's fine it's just us and Sam home, no biggie."

"Dean really, I c-"

"I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you down the stairs."

Castiel stared at Dean in bewilderment. How could he say something like that?

With a sigh Castiel leaned forward and put his hands on Dean's broad shoulder and placed his legs on either side of Dean's abdomen and placed all of his weight onto the other boy. Dean tightly grasped Castiel's legs -careful of the other boys injured ankle- and leaned forward ever so slightly to get comfortable.

They'd both be lying if they said it didn't feel natural to be so close to one another. Lying if they said they didn't feel like they could take on the world as long as the other never left his side.

"If you drop me Dean Wincheste-"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm not gunna drop ya Cas." Dean said stubbornly and slowly them raised up. Castiel's grip tightened on Dean shoulder.

Shockingly to Dean it felt like Castiel weighed nothing. Dean would make sure Castiel ate more. Much more.

"This isn't very safe Dean!" Castiel yelped as he latched onto Dean for dear life.

"Stop being such a stick the mud, you're fine."

Dean slowly started to walk to get Castiel used to being up off the ground.

"You act as if you've never had a piggyback ride." Dean chuckled.

"If you must know I haven-AH!" Dean purposely put a little bit more of a jump in his step to get a rise out of Cas.

"Ok, that's it, put me down right now!" Cas yelled out. Dean fell into a fit of laughter.

"Dean I'm seri-AH DEAN PUT ME DOWN!" Castiel cried as Dean doubled over laughing. Dean released Cas's legs and held his stomach. Castiel yelped and locked his hands around Dean's neck.

Castiel had no idea what to do so he did the only thing he would think of.

"SAM!"

Dean laughed even harder.

"Sam help me!" He bellowed out.

It didn't take long for Sam to charge into the room. He wrenched the door open and tumbled in.

"Sam! Sam thank goodness. Get him to put me down!" Castiel shrieked, eyes wide. Dean kept laughing.

Sam stared at the two with wide, confused eyes.

"What the hell?" He mumbled.

"Sam!" Castiel pleaded.

"Ju-just put your feet down Castiel, it's not that big of a drop."

Dean was slowly collecting himself from the outburst. He placed his hands back on Castiel's legs to help keep him up.

"He-he can't!" Dean chuckled. "He sprained his ankle."

Sam looked at the two. Castiel was absolutely terrified. Dean, on the other hand, had the largest, widest smile Sam had ever seen on his bigger brothers face. His eyes wrinkled at the corners and he had tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Even though Sam was still very pissed at Dean his lips twitched up the littlest bit.

Sam simply rolled his eyes and exited the room to return to his.

"Come on Cas let's get something to eat." Dean said as he begun to walk out of the room.

Castiel held on for dear life as they walked down the stairs.

"De- Dean I'm afraid you're going to drop me." He whined.

"Cas, man, I'm not going to drop you, I've got ya." Even if Castiel couldn't see it Dean had a huge smile plastered on his face.

Once the two of them made it into the kitchen Dean lowered Castiel onto a chair gently before going over to the cupboard. Castiel let out a breath of relief.

"Let's never do that again" Castiel mumbled.

"You know how many girls would be so jealous of you right now man! You got to ride Dean Winchester, THE Dean Winchester!" Dean bloated, sticking his chest out.

"Yeah, well I'd rather not have another panic attack at your expense."

Castiel mumbled again. Dean simply ignored him.

"Okay, so, uh is spaghetti okay?" Dean said plucking a can of tomato sauce from the cup board.

Castiel let out a chuckled. "Spaghetti is fine, Dean."

Dean turned around and flashed another smile Castiel's way before getting to work.

He cranked up the radio and sung along while he worked. He swayed his hips the best he could and used a broom handle as a microphone.

Castiel broke out into laughter at the scene that was playing out in front of him.

The laughing didn't bother Dean, if anything it edged him on.

"Come on Cas! Sing with me!" He howled.

"I don't know the song!" Castiel laughed over the loud music.

"That's okay, just try!" Castiel shook his head.

"Party pooper!" Dean stuck his tongue out and Castiel laughed harder.

"MAMA! OOOOH! DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY! IF I'M NOT BACK THIS TIME TOMORROW CARRY ONNNNNNNNNNNN!" Dean was practically screaming now.

"MAMA! OHHHHHHHH I DON'T WANNA DIE. SOMETIMES WISH ID NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL" And with that Dean started to try and copy the guitar solo with random sounds and flailing arms.

"Dean!" A deep voice erupted. Both Dean and Castiel jumped up. Dean dropped the broom handle and spun around.

Sam stood in the door way with a very stern look on his face and his arms crossed. Dean liked to call it his bitchface.

"AH SAMMY, YOU KNOW THIS SONG!" Dean screeched over the song.

"TURN IT DOWN YOU ASS, I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK." Once Sam had said what he needed too he turned around and stormed up the stairs.

Dean pouted but turned the music down so it wasn't so loud.

Dean pulled the noddles and sauce off the stove and put some on a plate.

"Sam, dinner!" He bellowed.

"Must you always be so loud?" Castiel mumbled. Dean simply ignored him.

Dean sat down across from Castiel and watched with a hopeful glint in his eye as Castiel took a bite. When Castiel didn't cringe or spit his food back out Dean broke out into a smile.

"How is it?" Dean asked gleefully.

"It is good." Castiel said with a little smile.

"I'm not too sure about that, you're probably lying so you don't hurt Dean's feelings." Dean and Castiel turned around the see Sam entering the kitchen.

"Nu- uh! Castiel said it's good so I believe him! Cas would never lie to me, would you Cas!?" Dean pouted much like a child.

"No I would not, it tastes good."

"See!" Dean jumped up and pointed a finger at Castiel.

"Yeah, yeah, just freaking eat you over sized kids" Sam mumbled as he pulled a huge heaping of noodles out of the pot and sloped it onto his plate before drowning it in tomato sauce.

Once Sam was done he sulked back up into his room.

Dean was glad that Sam was talking to him but he would feel guilty for what he did for the rest of his life. He was supposed to look after his little brother not beat him up.

"Dean?" Castiel's timid voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can I have a drink?"

Dean jumped up and practically tore into the fridge.

"Whadda want?" He asked gruffly.

"Water's fine."

Dean pulled a cup from the high cup bored and filled it with cold water from the tap.

"So, you said you have other siblings right? What're their names, do I know them?" Dean asked trying to start a conversation.

"Well, you know Gabriel, you may have seen Anna around school and my other two brothers are much older than I. They're names are Metatron and Michael. They're no longer at school."

"I don't think I know Anna. You guys sure have interesting names." Dean said shoveling a mouth full into his mouth.

"My parents are very religious and wanted us all named after angels. Anna's real name is Anael but she decided to change it."

"Still doesn't sound familiar." Dean mumbled.

"No, probably not. She's a few years younger than us. She just stared this year."

Dean nodded.

A comfortable silence fell over them.

Soon they were done dinner, Dean cleaned off their plates and sat back down.

"I should probably go." Castiel whispered playing with his hands.

"You can't stay any longer?" Dean replied sadly.

"I'm afraid not, but thank you for dinner Dean. It was very good."

Castiel tried to stand up but soon fell back onto the chair with a cry of pain.

"Here, let me drive you home." Dean smiled. Castiel really didn't have much of a choice. His house was a good 30 minute walk and Castiel was in no shape for walking.

"Okay." He whispered eyes down.

* * *

_"Please?" Dean was practically begging now and it drove Castiel insane. He knew he shouldn't say yes. He should say no and punish himself for the sinful thoughts but instead he did the exact opposite._  
_"O-okay._"

* * *

Dean beamed up at Castiel and Castiel nearly had a heart attack. Dean had such a breath taking smile he couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, so I don't think Bobby's gunna be home for dinner so that mean's we're going to have make something."

Castiel nodded.

"Here climb onto my back." Dean suggested as he crouched in front of Castiel.

"I-I'm not doing that Dean." Castiel stuttered.

"Why not?"

"Because that's humiliating."

"Aw, it's fine it's just us and Sam home, no biggie."

"Dean really, I c-"

"I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you down the stairs."

Castiel stared at Dean in bewilderment. How could he say something like that?

With a sigh Castiel leaned forward and put his hands on Dean's broad shoulder and placed his legs on either side of Dean's abdomen and placed all of his weight onto the other boy. Dean tightly grasped Castiel's legs -careful of the other boys injured ankle- and leaned forward ever so slightly to get comfortable.

They'd both be lying if they said it didn't feel natural to be so close to one another. Lying if they said they didn't feel like they could take on the world as long as the other never left his side.

"If you drop me Dean Wincheste-"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm not gunna drop ya Cas." Dean said stubbornly and slowly them raised up. Castiel's grip tightened on Dean shoulder.

Shockingly to Dean it felt like Castiel weighed nothing. Dean would make sure Castiel ate more. Much more.

"This isn't very safe Dean!" Castiel yelped as he latched onto Dean for dear life.

"Stop being such a stick the mud, you're fine."

Dean slowly started to walk to get Castiel used to being up off the ground.

"You act as if you've never had a piggyback ride." Dean chuckled.

"If you must know I haven-AH!" Dean purposely put a little bit more of a jump in his step to get a rise out of Cas.

"Ok, that's it, put me down right now!" Cas yelled out. Dean fell into a fit of laughter.

"Dean I'm seri-AH DEAN PUT ME DOWN!" Castiel cried as Dean doubled over laughing. Dean released Cas's legs and held his stomach. Castiel yelped and locked his hands around Dean's neck.

Castiel had no idea what to do so he did the only thing he would think of.

"SAM!"

Dean laughed even harder.

"Sam help me!" He bellowed out.

It didn't take long for Sam to charge into the room. He wrenched the door open and tumbled in.

"Sam! Sam thank goodness. Get him to put me down!" Castiel shrieked, eyes wide. Dean kept laughing.

Sam stared at the two with wide, confused eyes.

"What the hell?" He mumbled.

"Sam!" Castiel pleaded.

"Ju-just put your feet down Castiel, it's not that big of a drop."

Dean was slowly collecting himself from the outburst. He placed his hands back on Castiel's legs to help keep him up.

"He-he can't!" Dean chuckled. "He sprained his ankle."

Sam looked at the two. Castiel was absolutely terrified. Dean, on the other hand, had the largest, widest smile Sam had ever seen on his bigger brothers face. His eyes wrinkled at the corners and he had tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Even though Sam was still very pissed at Dean his lips twitched up the littlest bit.

Sam simply rolled his eyes and exited the room to return to his.

"Come on Cas let's get something to eat." Dean said as he begun to walk out of the room.

Castiel held on for dear life as they walked down the stairs.

"De- Dean I'm afraid you're going to drop me." He whined.

"Cas, man, I'm not going to drop you, I've got ya." Even if Castiel couldn't see it Dean had a huge smile plastered on his face.

Once the two of them made it into the kitchen Dean lowered Castiel onto a chair gently before going over to the cupboard. Castiel let out a breath of relief.

"Let's never do that again" Castiel mumbled.

"You know how many girls would be so jealous of you right now man! You got to ride Dean Winchester, THE Dean Winchester!" Dean bloated, sticking his chest out.

"Yeah, well I'd rather not have another panic attack at your expense."

Castiel mumbled again. Dean simply ignored him.

"Okay, so, uh is spaghetti okay?" Dean said plucking a can of tomato sauce from the cup board.

Castiel let out a chuckled. "Spaghetti is fine, Dean."

Dean turned around and flashed another smile Castiel's way before getting to work.

He cranked up the radio and sung along while he worked. He swayed his hips the best he could and used a broom handle as a microphone.

Castiel broke out into laughter at the scene that was playing out in front of him.

The laughing didn't bother Dean, if anything it edged him on.

"Come on Cas! Sing with me!" He howled.

"I don't know the song!" Castiel laughed over the loud music.

"That's okay, just try!" Castiel shook his head.

"Party pooper!" Dean stuck his tongue out and Castiel laughed harder.

"MAMA! OOOOH! DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY! IF I'M NOT BACK THIS TIME TOMORROW CARRY ONNNNNNNNNNNN!" Dean was practically screaming now.

"MAMA! OHHHHHHHH I DON'T WANNA DIE. SOMETIMES WISH ID NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL" And with that Dean started to try and copy the guitar solo with random sounds and flailing arms.

"Dean!" A deep voice erupted. Both Dean and Castiel jumped up. Dean dropped the broom handle and spun around.

Sam stood in the door way with a very stern look on his face and his arms crossed. Dean liked to call it his bitchface.

"AH SAMMY, YOU KNOW THIS SONG!" Dean screeched over the song.

"TURN IT DOWN YOU ASS, I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK." Once Sam had said what he needed too he turned around and stormed up the stairs.

Dean pouted but turned the music down so it wasn't so loud.

Dean pulled the noddles and sauce off the stove and put some on a plate.

"Sam, dinner!" He bellowed.

"Must you always be so loud?" Castiel mumbled. Dean simply ignored him.

Dean sat down across from Castiel and watched with a hopeful glint in his eye as Castiel took a bite. When Castiel didn't cringe or spit his food back out Dean broke out into a smile.

"How is it?" Dean asked gleefully.

"It is good." Castiel said with a little smile.

"I'm not too sure about that, you're probably lying so you don't hurt Dean's feelings." Dean and Castiel turned around the see Sam entering the kitchen.

"Nu- uh! Castiel said it's good so I believe him! Cas would never lie to me, would you Cas!?" Dean pouted much like a child.

"No I would not, it tastes good."

"See!" Dean jumped up and pointed a finger at Castiel.

"Yeah, yeah, just freaking eat you over sized kids" Sam mumbled as he pulled a huge heaping of noodles out of the pot and sloped it onto his plate before drowning it in tomato sauce.

Once Sam was done he sulked back up into his room.

Dean was glad that Sam was talking to him but he would feel guilty for what he did for the rest of his life. He was supposed to look after his little brother not beat him up.

"Dean?" Castiel's timid voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can I have a drink?"

Dean jumped up and practically tore into the fridge.

"Whadda want?" He asked gruffly.

"Water's fine."

Dean pulled a cup from the high cup bored and filled it with cold water from the tap.

"So, you said you have other siblings right? What're their names, do I know them?" Dean asked trying to start a conversation.

"Well, you know Gabriel, you may have seen Anna around school and my other two brothers are much older than I. They're names are Metatron and Michael. They're no longer at school."

"I don't think I know Anna. You guys sure have interesting names." Dean said shoveling a mouth full into his mouth.

"My parents are very religious and wanted us all named after angels. Anna's real name is Anael but she decided to change it."

"Still doesn't sound familiar." Dean mumbled.

"No, probably not. She's a few years younger than us. She just stared this year."

Dean nodded.

A comfortable silence fell over them.

Soon they were done dinner, Dean cleaned off their plates and sat back down.

"I should probably go." Castiel whispered playing with his hands.

"You can't stay any longer?" Dean replied sadly.

"I'm afraid not, but thank you for dinner Dean. It was very good."

Castiel tried to stand up but soon fell back onto the chair with a cry of pain.

"Here, let me drive you home." Dean smiled. Castiel really didn't have much of a choice. His house was a good 30 minute walk and Castiel was in no shape for walking.

"Okay." He whispered eyes down.

* * *

_FLUFFLY FLUFF FLUFF FLLLLLUFF._

Sadly its not going to last.

I've got to admit I was laughing at the piggy back part. BUT IVE NEVER SEEN A PIGGY BACK BEING DONE IN ANY STORY BEFORE SO I THOUGHT ID TRY IT OUT :D  
LIKE HOW I ADDED IN METATON EVEN THOUGHT WE JUST MET HIM IN THE SHOW? :D I didn't want Cas's siblings to be dicks and I originally had Lucifer lined up to be his brother but I dont think I can do that anymore lol.

*I realize now that matatron is indeed a dick. He was not when this story first came out.*

I BLAME MY GUINEA PIGS FOR THIS BEING SO LATE. They kept distracting me. All I could see every 5 minutes was orange, black, or white running around and then they started squeaking so freaking loud. It was very distracting

**Question for today:** _Do you guys have any pets or any annoying pets?_


	10. Chapter 9

**Warnings:** _Child abuse_

* * *

Once they were done dinner, Dean cleaned off their plates and sat back down.

"I should probably go." Castiel whispered playing with his hands.  
"You can't stay any longer?" Dean replied sadly.  
"I'm afraid not, but thank you for dinner Dean. It was very good." Castiel tried to stand up but soon fell back onto the chair with a cry of pain.  
"Here, let me drive you home." Dean smiled. Castiel really didn't have much of a choice. His house was a good 30 minute walk and Castiel was in no shape for walking.  
"Okay." He whispered eyes down.

* * *

The two of them pulled up to a beautiful, two story house. It had a wrap around porch and was made out of breath taking stone. The front door was a chestnut brown that matched the curtains in the main front window. The bendy walk way that led up to the front door was lined with well looked after bushes and bright, colourful flowers. The grass was trimmed and there was a huge, old oak tree that stood tall beside the drive way.

"Holy shit Cas.. You're parents must be freakin rich." Dean mumbled.

"No! Don't pull into the drive way!" Castiel jumped up, alarmed.

"Okay?" Dean pulled the impala up on the curb in front of the house glancing at Castiel with a questioning look.

"Thank you Dean, dinner was good." Castiel said and slightly blushed. He reached for the door handle.

"Cas! Wait, let me help you inside, you'll fall before you make it there." Dean said gently.

"Dean.. No, Dea-" But Dean didn't listen. He pushed his door open and walked over to Cas's side.

Once he got there he helped Castiel out and placed his hand on the other side of Castiel's waist and pulled him close.

"Dean, Dean please don't hold me so tightly." Castiel begged as they got closer to the house.

Ouch.

Dean's heart ached. It felt like it fell right into his gut and he really had no idea why.

"O-oh. I'm sorry." Dean said softly and he loosened his grip. Castiel felt bad for hurting Dean but if his mother ever saw she would surely try and punish Dean and he did not want that for Dean.

The front door slammed open and a small figure marched it's way out.

"What the fuck is he doing here!" The figure boomed out thrusting andaccusing finger in front of him. Castiel's face fell as Gabriel charged out of the house and shoved Dean hard. Dean, being caught off guard, let go of Castiel and stumbled back. He caught himself before he hit the ground and straighten himself out.

"What the hell?" Dean glared at Gabriel.

"Yeah what the hell is right! What the fuck are you doing with my brother you dickward!" Before Castiel could stop his brother Gabriel brought his fist back and caught Dean right in the jaw.

Dean tried to dodge it but he was too slow. His jaw let out a sickening crack. Gabriel gripped onto either side of Dean's coat and gripped him tight.

Dean just stared down at Gabriel in shock. What had brought this on?  
Gabriel tried to sock Dean in the cheek but Dean caught his hand.

"Want to tell me what the hell is going on Gabe?" Dean spat. "Don't fucking call me that." Gabriel roared and tried to knock Dean down.

"Gabriel Michael Novak!" A feminine voice screeched from the house. Castiel trembled upon hearing the voice.

Gabriel immediately let go of Dean and spun around.

"Yes mother."

Dean's eyes widened as he looked at the women rushing out of the house. She had her chestnut brown hair pulled into a tight bun, and her bangs swooped down and stuck to the side of her head right above her eyes. She had blue eyes a lot like Castiel's, but hers were more dull and almost scary looking. She wore a grey suit and the blouse in the front dipped down low to reveal a white collar shirt.

"And who are you!?" She screeched once her eyes laid on Dean.

"Mo-Mother! He has nothing to do with this! I tried to infuriated Gabriel and Gabriel thought Dean said the insult I directed at towards him." The women's cold eyes shifted to Castiel with a tight glare.

"Get in the house Castiel. I will talk to you when I get there."

Castiel's eye widened.

"Mother, I-I can't." Castiel replied looking down in a small voice.

"Pardon me!?"

"I think I have sprained my ankle."

"I'll help you!" Gabriel cried as he rushed over to Castiel side totally forgetting about Dean.

"Now, tell me son, what is you name?" The women asked again, looking at Dean, ignoring her sons.

"Dean Winchester." Dean replied imitating the stern women's look.

"Well, Dean Winchester. Thank you for looking out for our Castiel here, and bringing him home but you must be gone. It was nice meeting you." With that she glared at her two sons, turned on her heel, and marched back into the house.

Dean, with wide, green eyes, slowly walked back to the impala and climbed in. He turned the key and pulled away with what happened replaying in his head.

-  
If Dean had stayed a minute longer he would have seen Castiel's mother hitting him through the window.

If Dean stayed a minute longer he would have watched as she shoved her son back hard.

If Dean had stayed a minute longer he would have heard the sickening crack that sounded from Cas's ankle when he hit the ground.

If Dean had stayed a minute longer he would have heard the lies she screamed at her son, filling his head with everything but the truth.

But most of all, if Dean had stayed a minute longer, he would have heard her scream that Castiel is to never see Dean again.

* * *

I'll give you a cookie if you can figure out who Cas's mom is.

Question for this chapter: Anything you**_ really _**want to see before I tie this story up? (I know I already asked this but if there's anything new let me know!)

ALSO I love you all so much, we're almost at 30 reviews! That's freaking crazy! Thank you again to everyone who's favourited, followed, reviewed and read!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~****~*~*~*~*~~*


	11. Chapter 1o

**After everyone voting, To Save An Angel won! So this is the new title! :)**

**Warnings:** _Child abuse mentions of self harm._

* * *

_If Dean had stayed a minute longer he would have heard the lies she screamed at her son, filling his head with everything but the truth._

_But most of all, if Dean had stayed a minute longer, he would have heard her scream that Castiel is to never see Dean again._

_**Castiel's POV (ﾉ◕ヮ◕**__**)ﾉ**__***~*~*~**_

Mother's hand came down and slapped me across the right check. "You gay, faggot. How can you be my son? You're a disgrace to this family and you're going to hell. Do you want that? Do you want to go to hell!?" Mother screamed angrily.

When I didn't respond she shoved me hard. I fell back and hit my head against the wall. When I hit the ground my ankle let out a loud 'snap' causing me to cry out in pain. My eye's clouded over and I couldn't focus on anything as hard as I tried.

"No mother! I don't!" I screamed, hot tears streaming down my face.

"That's what I thought!" She kicked me in the side with her pointy heel. I sucked in a sharp breath and brought my hands up to protect my face.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a son you know that right? I should have just fucking aborted you like your father asked then I wouldn't have to do this and feel guilty after."

"I am sorry!" I screamed pain exploding from my ribs after each hit.

"Why do you do this?! You whore around with different guys and then you dare to bring one home? To our home? Where Anael sleeps? You disgust me." She sneered down at me.

The beating went on until she got tired. My ribs hurt and it was painful to breath, she stomped on my ankle with her heel at least 2 times. She was relentless.

"Stop crying Castiel. Boys don't cry. Just go to your room. You're father will deal with you when he gets home."

I didn't want father to deal with me. Mother may be relentless but father could keep on beating for hours. He never got tired it seemed.  
I slowly peeled my arms away from my face and looked up at her. She looked at me with pity, hate and exhaustiveness. I tried to pick myself up but collapsed on the spot.

"Castiel." She said in a much kinder, softer voice.

"I'm doing this because I love you and I don't want to see you rot in hell. I'm afraid to say this but I don't think you can see Dean Winchester anymore." I collapsed again and looked at her with wide eyes.

"M-Mother?" I said quietly but she simply turned on her heel and clicked down the hall.

I tried to pick myself up but fell again. I let out a sigh. I was a failure. How was I ever going to make the stairs?

Mother was right, I am an abomination. She should have aborted me in the womb. Tears still streamed down my face and I couldn't get them to stop. I angrily tried to scrub them away. Boy don't cry.

"Castiel!" I lifted my head to see Anna running down the stairs and coming to my side.

"Sh-she- Why was it so bad this time?" Anna whispered horrified. She hesitated to touch my bruising cheek.

"H-he brought me h-home. I-I couldn't stop him." It hurt to breath. It hurt a lot. Everything hurt.

Anna's worried face and bright hazel eyes started to blur out and go black.

"Cas! Castiel!" She cried, her voice getting fainter and fainter  
Soon everything went blank.

I woke up to a dark room. It felt like there was an elephant resting on my chest. I took in a shaky breath before I groaned.

"Castiel!" A voice called out. I turned my head towards the voice to see Gabriel and Anna rushing over to me.

I let out a slight smile.

"Are you okay!?" They asked worried.

"I can assure you I am fine." I lied. I felt like I was dying.

"Wh-what happened?" I groaned and rubbed my head.

"It was Mother..." Gabriel said quietly.

The beating came rushing back.I gasped her words rushing back to me

_"I'm afraid but I don't think you can't see Dean Winchester anymore."_

I felt tears collect in my eyes. I couldn't stop seeing Dean! Dean made me happy.

"Castiel calm down!" Anna cried trying to grab onto me. I lashed out and hit her. She looked at me with wide eyes.

Soon I was sobbing. I couldn't stop seeing Dean! Dean made me happy! Dean made me laugh! Dean was my best friend! I couldn't stop seeing Dean. I felt the urged to cut. I needed to feel pain. This had to be a dream! If I cut I could figure out if this was real or not.

_"You gay, faggot."_ Mother's angry voice screamed in my head. I gasped.

"Castiel, calm down!" A loud voice said. I turned over to see Micheal was standing at the door.

"I- I can't!" I cried even hared.

Micheal calmly came, crutched down in front of my bed and put my head in his hands and looked me right in the eye.

"Count to ten Castiel. Breath." His deep voice called out.

I tried to suck in a breath but it just came out as a pathetic sob.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry!" I cried out.

_"I should have just fucking aborted you."_

"One!" Micheal started to count out in a booming voice.

"Two!"

_"You're going to hell." _Her voice taunted.

My head was racing. I couldn't stop it. It hurt.

"Focus on my voice Castiel. Three!"

I tried. I really did try but his voice was barley there. I let out a soft whimper.

_"You're a pathetic excuse for a son!"_ Mother's words rang in my head.

"Four Castiel!"

_"Should have been aborted!"_

"Five! Breath Cas, breath!"

I let in a shaky breath and tried to focus Micheal's voice and not mothers.

_"You disgust me."_ Mothers voice roared, sounding a little further away.

"Six!"

I sucked in a huge breath and with Micheal I whispered.

"Seven."

_"Pathetic!"_ Mother angry voice rang quietly.

"Eight!" Micheal yelled crushing Mothers voice.

"Nine!"

"Ten!" I gasped and sat up. I quickly wrapped my arms around Micheal and started to calm down. Micheal's large arms encircled me and held me close.

"She-she said I couldn't see Dean anymore." I whimpered brokenly into Micheal's shoulder.

"Oh Cas." He replied sadly. I sniffed against his shoulder.

What was I going to do?

* * *

_**What have I done.**_

CAS DOESN'T HAVE PSYCHOSIS. I know it kinda seems like it but he doesn't. You know how if someone insults you it stays with you and you can hear it over and over again? Well throw a panic attack into the mix and this is what could happen.

If you were curious, Castiel's mother is Naomi :D Nice twist eh?

**Question for today:**_ If you can live with anyone that is fictional who would it be and why?_


	12. Chapter 11

_***I got asked this question and I just want to make it clear that Cas did not wake up in hospital last chapter. He was in his bedroom.**_

* * *

_"She-she said I couldn't see Dean anymore." I whimpered sadly into Micheal's shoulder._

_"Oh Cas." He replied sadly. I sniffed against his shoulder._  
_What was I going to do?_

* * *

_**Dean's pov.**_

I walked into first period and Cas wasn't there - again.

This was the third day now. With a nervous sigh I sat down threw my bag on the floor. I missed him.

"Dean!" A voiced called out behind me.

"Hey Jo." I mumbled.

I heard her jump over her desk and plop down in Castiel's spot. I glared at her.

"Aw Dean, you're so cute when you're annoyed!" She teased.  
"Okay you have my attention, what do you want?" I sighed.  
"We should hang out tonight!"

"Why?"

"Aw, Dean, that almost hurt!" She put a hand over her heart and pretended to be heartbroken. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, want to meet out by the impala after school?" I suggested.  
"Sounds good!" Instead of going to her seat behind me she stayed in Castiel's spot and didn't move for the whole period.

I walked out with my back pack slung over one shoulder to see Jo sitting on the hood of the impala. The bell had rung about 10 minutes ago.

"Get off my baby." I grumbled walking over to her. Jo laughed, hopping down.

I unlocked the car and and we both slid in.

"So, Dean, I haven't seen you much since the party and I've been hearing rumors. Is it true? The infamous Dean Winchester is gay?" I nearly chocked on thin air. Jo let out a loud laugh.

"I always knew you liked dudes!" She exclaimed.

"Jo, Jo, I'm not gay!" I cried out pulling out of the school parking lot.

Jo humed in response.

"Okay, well maybe- not really." I said quickly. Jo squealed.

"I fucking knew it! I knew it! When we were kids you'd always eye up my boyfriends! It's Castiel isn't it!" She proclaim jumping up and down.

"What, N-n- yes? I don't know!" I said throwing my hands up before quickly bringing them back down to the steering wheel. Jo squealed again.

"God! Stop fucking doing that!" I mumbled covering my right ear.

"Awww! My little Dean grew a pair of balls!" She laughed and I turned bright red.

We pulled up to Bobby's house. I turned to look at Jo quickly.

"No one else know! Please don't tell them!" I pleaded.

"Secrets safe with me!" Jo chuckled.

The two of us exited out the the impala and walked up to the ageing house. We opened the creaky door and lazily toed our shoes off before heading to the kitchen only find Bobby at the kitchen table.

"Jo!" Bobby's happy voice called out.

"Hey Bobby!" Jo smiled warmly.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Bobby said in his usual gruff voice.  
Jo looked back at me with her trademark smirk.

"Well, Dean here has been a little busy." Jo said in a teasing voice.

Bobby gave me an odd look but dropped it sensing the tension.

"Well, I just got a call. Apparently Rufus landed his sorry ass in the hospital. I'm going to see him. Tell Ellen I said hi." Bobby said before disappointing out of the kitchen. The door closed with a click indicating he had gone outside.

"What the fuck Jo!" I said hitting her lightly. A smile broke out on her face.

"Well maybe you shouldn't leave me so long with out knowing what's going on."

"You could always talk to me at school!" I grumbled pulling a bag of chips off the counter and grabbing two beers from the fridge.

"Same goes for you!" She laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

"So tell me more about him?" Jo asked as we climbed the stairs.

"Well, what's there to say?" I replied.

"You kissed him right?" Jo pried as we approached my room.

"Well yeah, at the party."

"What was it like!" Jo asked with wide, curious eyes.

"It wasn't any different than kissing a girl. At first he didn't know what he was doing but he caught on fast. He actually gave me a fat lip." I chuckled as we walked into my room, shutting the door.

"That's so cute! Tell me more!"

"Jesus, Jo, you're relentless!" I paused to open my beer. "What do you want to know?" I brought the beer to my lips to take a swig.

"Did you guys have sex?" I chocked on the sudden question.

"No, we did not have sex!" I cried. "Why does everyone think that!"  
Jo giggled.

"Well he is pretty cute." Jo said looking at me.

"Yeah, I guess." I mumbled.

"Do you like him? Like, like like him?" Jo asked as if if we were in 6th grade again.

"Wow Jo, a little young there don't ya think?" I chuckled.

"Well do you!" She squeaked.

"I dunno." I mumbled rubbing the back of my neck.

"Aw! My little Dean had finally decided to settle down."

"Shuddup." I glared.

"Seriously though Dean, do you like him?" Jo pressed.

"I dont know." I replied honestly. Jo gave me a smug look.

"What!?" I asked.

"You like him."

Little did either of them know that Sam had been listening to the whole conversation since they walked past his room.

Dean's POV.

I shut the door with a sigh and toed my boots off and took my soaking wet jacket off, thanks to the rain storm that had rolled in. I had just driven Jo home. Sam was probably in bed and Bobby was still visiting Rufus

I dragged my feet into the kitchen and with heavy arms I opened the fridge. When I didn't see anything that appealed to me I simply closed it and filled a glass with clear water. I walked out of the kitchen and turned off the light on my way out. I walked over to the living room light and also turned it off intending to go to sleep. A flash of bright lightening lightened up the dark room.

I put my hand on the railing stairs and started to climb up them, tired from a long day. Loud thumps erupted from the door making me jump. My glass of water fell from my hands shattering against the cold floor.

"Jesus Christ." I swore as I stared at the mess I had made from dropping my once full glass. Three loud, hurried knocks came from the door.

I swore again before I turned and left my mess on the floor. I'd clean it up when I was done.

Another loud knock shook through me, this time it was harder.

I yanked the door open with anger. I just wanted to go to sleep, was that so much to ask?

My eye widened.

"Dean, finally."

I had never seen Castiel look so.. Handsome. He was soaked from head to toe and he had water dripping from his dark, messy hair. His blue eyes stared at me with such a sadness. He was being supported by a pair in crutches. I gasped.

"Cas what'-"

He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me out into the rain and crashed our lips together in a rough, hurried motion. I gasped into the kiss but soon melted. My hand's found their way to his up into his hair. I gripped the back of his head and deepened the kiss.

I didn't care that Bobby could pull up to the house right now or Sam could walk down the stairs. All I cared about was Cas's lips on mine.

I lightly bit on his lower lip, practically begging him to open his mouth for me. He gasped and pulled back.

"D-Dean. This isn't why I came here." He said all at once.

I gave him a questioning look but listened.

"Can-can we step inside?" He asked. I nodded and held the door open.

He hobbled in but didn't come completely in. He leaned against the wall.

"Dean, listen. I'm no good for you. I really am not. I like you a lot but we can't be together." I placed my hands on either side of his head, boxing him in.

"Oh yeah?" I breathed out, staring at him with lustful eyes.

"Dean, please don't look at me like that." He whined.

He just looked so handsome. The rain had made his hair even more dark which enlightened his bright eyes.

"Dean listen to me!" Castiel demanded which only turned me on even more.

"I'm listening." I whispered staring at his lips. The way they moved was memorizing.

"Dean! I mean it! Dean this is important." His tone was now urgent. My eye traveled from his lips to his eyes. It was then I noticed the purple bruise on the side of his cheek. My brows furred. I brought my hand up and lightly ran my fingers across the tainted skin. He leaned into my touch and a shiver ripped through him.

"I'm not aloud to see you anymore." He whispered, eyes sliding close.  
My eyes widened.

"Wh-what!? Why not!?" I yelped.  
"My mother." He said opening his eyes to look at me. Tears collected in his eyes.

"Screw your mom." I said whispered trying to kiss him again.  
"Dean, she's my mot-"

"Live here. With Bobby, Sam and I." I said on impulse. He laughed. It sounded like wind chimes.

"I wish I could Dean." I felt anger bubbling up from inside of me.  
Tears slid down his face.  
"This- this is good bye Dean." He said sadly.

"What?! What!? No!" I said the anger getting the better of me. I crashed out lips together once again. He pushed back against my chest again.

"Please don't do this Dean." He cried.

"So what! You're picking your mother over me!?" I spat. I was hurt and angry. How could he do that? Just walk into my life and walk out?

"Yes." He said staring at me with sorrowful eyes. I saw all red.  
I let out a yelled before I brought my fist back and crashed it into the wall right beside his ear. He looked up at me with wide, scared eyes. I pulled away from him.

I stared back at him with anger.

"Fine! Then fucking leave!" I screamed in his face. More tears fell from his eyes.

"Please, Dean you're scaring me. Don't do this." He said brokenly.

"Fuck off Cas, just- just leave." I cried.

What happened next I don't quite remember. I remember the door closing and then I remember breaking things. Anything I could get my hands on. Plates, furniture. I grabbed beer bottles and smashed them all over the floor. I remember the glass digging into my feet and hands and the painful alcohol soaking into the cuts. I remember flipping the table and hearing it crack under the fall. Everything on it clattered to the floor in a loud commotion. I remember someone screaming my name over and over again but they didn't dare come close to me. The last thing I remember is collapsing to the floor in a mess of alcohol, glass, blood and tears.

* * *

_**What have I done...**_

**A WILD JO APPEARS!** I hope I kept her in character D: I think I kinda turned her into my own little character. Or Becky. I should just change all the times I put in Jos name and put in Becky lol.

I really didn't like the part with Jo, I was tempted to take it out and just leave the angsty Destiel but I need Jo.!

**Question for today:** _Would you guys like to see a smut in the story somewhere?_


	13. Chapter 12

***I had help with this one today. You should look her up on Tumblr and follow her because she is fabulous her url is** _batcacaloco-fanwarrior_

**Warning:** _Substance abuse, i think there mentions of child abuse in there somewhere, if not I know if you'll squint you'll see it._

* * *

_What happened next I don't quite remember. I remember the door closing and then I remember breaking things. Anything I could get my hands on. Plates, furniture. I grabbed beer bottles and smashed them all over the floor. I remember the glass digging into my feet and hands and the painful alcohol soaking into the cuts. I remember flipping the table and hearing it crack under the fall. Everything on it clattered to the floor in a loud commotion. I remember someone screaming my name over and over again but they didn't dare come close to me. The last thing I remember is collapsing to the floor in a mess of alcohol, glass, blood and tears._

* * *

_Jump ahead 2 month_

Everything just went down hill from there for Dean. He missed his mom and dad, he missed Cas. Sam wouldn't dare talk to him. He pushed Jo away. He didn't have any real friends he could turn to, just random strangers he partied with. He had nothing left and he just didn't care anymore. He threw his life away the only way he knew how.

It started out as every other weekend, he would go to a party and get so wasted he couldn't even stand straight. Then it snowballed into every night. He went to a different party and if there wasn't a party he would drink alone at home.

At these parties he would hook up with different women to convince himself that he and Cas had never had whatever they had going on and the he wasn't gay. It killed the pain until he woke up and would do it all over again the next day.

He stopped going to school because his hangovers would be far to painful. In his mind he was living the high life.

It didn't take long for him to get addicted to drugs. It started off as marijuana, then cocaine, heroin, and eventually meth. He loved the high he got off of it.

The alcohol with the drugs made him feel like he could take on the world and helped him forget his worries.

Dean laughed as he threw the door to Bobby's house open. It slammed against the wall but he couldn't care. He slammed it behind himself. His legs gave out and he laughed as he hit the ground.

"Dean." A small voice croaked out. Dean hicupped with a huge, sloppy smile on his face he looked up to see who it was. He narrowed his eyes to get a better look at who it was in the dark. Once his eyes adjusted his smile grew even more and he bellowed out.

"Sammy!" He picked himself up and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck.

"How've ya been man!" He slurred. Sam pushed him off gently and looked at his brother with sad eyes.

SAMS POV

"How have ya been man!" He slurred out, his disgusting breath filling the air. His face was a sickly pale colour.

Under and around his eyes once bright green eyes was discoloured with a brownish redish, the high he was on lighting the dark bags.

His hair was a dull, greasy dirty blonde. His once full face was sunken in and bony. He must have lost at least 50 pounds within the past 2 months. He looked like a fucking mess.

"Dean. You're killing yourself." I whimpered.

"Wha? No way man!"

"Let's go to bed Dean, we can talk about it in the morning." I said gently.

"Talk about what!?" Dean pouted and stomped his foot like a 5 year old. I glared at him and he pouted but followed me up the stairs.

"This isn't right." He mummered.

"What isn't right?" I asked turning to look at him.

"I'm supposed to look after you, not you look after me." He had tears collecting in his eyes.

I smiled sadly at him.

"I know Dean, I know." I said softly as we made it to the top of the stairs

"I'm sorry Sammy." He said, his face slowly breaking as tears fell from his eyes.

"It's okay Dean. We can talk about this tomorrow." I said opening the door to his room.

The next morning I woke up determined to talk to Dean. A few days ago Bobby and I had talked about talking to him so Bobby was just as ready as I. It wasn't until about 6pm that Dean was finally out of bed. And he was getting ready to go back out again.

Bobby must have seen Dean getting ready too because he slammed his laptop shut and stood up.

"Where the hell you think yer goin boy!?" He erupted. Dean jumped and turned to look at Bobby with wide, surprised eyes.

"Out." He said quickly putting up a facade that didn't fool anyone.  
"I don't think so boy. Go sit down at the table." Dean just rolled his eyes and pulled his shoes on.

"If you leave this house boy, don't you dare come back." Bobby roared making me jump. I've never seen him this mad before ever.

Dean froze. He slowly stood back up and took his shoes off. I let out a relived breath, glad he was finally going to listen.

Deans POV  
Once Bobby yelled at me I stopped dead in my tracks. I sighed and took my shoes off and kept my head down.

"We need to talk." Sam said quietly and I looked up and glared at him. Once our eyes connected he looked away. His eyes were a bright blue today thanks to his shirt. The kids eye's always changed colour. I ached with guilt.

"Sit down boy." Bobby said gruffly pulling a chair out from the table.  
Soundlessly I pulled a chair out for myself and sat down across from him.

"Do you remember last night?" Sam whispered. It was so quite you could practically hear a pin drop. Keeping my head down I nodded. Sam let out a sigh.

"You're killing yourself Dean." Sam repeated the same words he used last night. He was treating me like a fucking kid.

"No I am not!" I snapped at him with fire in my eyes. His eyes widened.

"Dean. You need help." Bobby said firmly.

"I dont need anything." I spat back at them.

"Yes you do Dean! I know what happened that night when you basically destroyed the house!" Sam blurted. He was bluffing he must have been.

"You don't know shit Sam." I whispered hot anger brewing inside of me.  
"You don't know anything!" I scream slamming my hands against the table, kicking my chair behind me in rage. I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

Instead of flinching like I though he would Sam stood up and slammed his hands against the table, the same why I did. His eyes locked with mine as he spoke.

"I know you told Jo you liked Castiel that night. I know you kissed him that night. I know he told you you two couldn't see each other anymore. I know you almost punched him like you punched me. I remember you telling him to fuck off and most of all I remember how hurt you were!" By the time Sam was done screaming hot tears were streaming down my face.

"You know what Sam! Fuck you! I'm perfectly fine and I don't need any fucking help!" I screamed so loud my voice was raw after.

"Boy ya barley even eat anymore! Ya ate what, a piece if bread every few days? You're taken more drugs than even you can keep count of how the hell are you even up an' breathin'!" Bobby erupted.

Silence fell over the three of us.

Sobs broke out of my chest and echoed through the tense house. Two strong arms wrapped around my trembling frame and held me close.

Bobby knew I was gay and so did Sam. They were going to hate me now, Bobby was going to kick me out now.

I was a fuck up. Everyone I ever loved left me or I scared them off. If I didn't piss him off so much dad wouldn't have left and Sam would have had an actual biological parent. I killed mom. I killed her. It was my fault. I should have never asked to have that camp fire. I should never have asked to roast marshmallows that night. It was all my fault. I should have fucking known that the fire would spread. Even as a kid I was a fuck up.

I couldn't breath, I was chocking, suffocating.  
Soothing hands ran up and down my back and I could hear a calming voice talking to me.

The flames. The fire.

It was all rushing back in waves. It was consuming me all over again.  
I gasped in a deep breath, and breathed it back out as a sob. I felt sick.

I could feel the fire nipping at my innocent skin again. I could hear Sammy's desperate cry's for mom. I could hear dad screaming and the fire truck pulling up again. It was all coming back.

My stomach heaved. It was soon followed by a gag. The hands that were on my back left for a brief moment. A trash can appeared in front of me and all the content in my stomach were emptied into it. The hands that appeared back on my back were the only thing letting me know this was real.

Slowly I calmed down and my sobs turned into soft whimpers. Slowly I became grounded again.

I opened my painful eyes to be face to face with Sam's concerned eyes.

It was his hands on my back.

"I-I'm so so sorry Sam." I said, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Don't be Dean. I'm the one who should be sorry." I let out a bitter laugh.

"No, no you shouldn't. I'm the one who fucked everything up. I beat you up, ignored you, and now you're looking after me. I should be looking after you." I whispered my voice laced with exhaustion. He let out a soft sad smile.

"It doesn't work that way Dean. I am allowed to look after you from time to time." Sam looked positively hurt and drained. Almost has if he had nothing left.

"But Dad told me I had to look after you." I said looking up at him with pleading eyes. Bobby let out a snort from beside me. I jumped slightly, I hadn't even known he was there.

"Dad wasn't always right Dean."

"Yes he was!" I yelped with scared eyes.

"If he was right do ya think he'd be here right now?" Bobby asked, his voice rock hard. I looked at the two men in front of me. I felt like I was looking at them for the first time in a long time. Their eyes filled with mostly concern, worry and pain, sporting very large, heavy bags under them.

I had caused that.

Again.

I didn't think I was hurting them, I just though I was effecting myself. I had to stop this I couldn't hurt them anymore. A thought came rushing back to me.

"You don't care that I'm gay? That I like another guy?" I whispered getting ready for the vile langue to come out and crush me.

"Honestly Dean, I could care less." Sam said in is usual nerd voice.

My face dropped.

"You-you don't care?" I said disbelieving it. Sam shook his head.

I turned to look at Bobby and waited for his response. It took him a few moment before he replied. "Yeah. I'm okay with it you idjit." He said with a small smile.

"Dean. Will you please get help? Please?" I turned to look at Sam. His eyes glistened with tears. Through the tears he had such an intense look in his eye that I was scared if I looked away he'd break.

"O-okay."

* * *

Oh no a broken dean! The reason why we didn't see Dean crying over his mom and dad sooner is because he kept it buried and tucked away for a rainy day in his head.** TODAY WAS THE RAINY DAY.**

**QUESTION FOR TODAY**: Do you want me to write Dean's rehab experience?


	14. Chapter 13

**_*Okay, so Yes to rehab just barley won. I put a lot of research into it because I don't know much about rehab at all. You do not need to read about it, I do not believe there is anything all too important to the story in it. There's a few characters that come into play though._**

_Also, you guys wanted Hurt!Dean well here you go! I made myself cry..._

* * *

_"Dean. Will you please get help? Please?" I turned to look at Sam. His eyes glistened with tears. Through the tears he had such an intense look in his eye that I was scared if I looked away he's break._  
_"O-okay."_

* * *

**Warning**:_ Child abuse, mentions of self harm._

_3rd person POV_

"Dean. Will you please get help? Please?" I turned to look at Sam. His eyes glistened with tears. Through the tears he had such an intense look in his eye that I was scared if I looked away he's break.  
"O-okay."

Warning: Child abuse, mentions of self harm.

3rd person POV

As soon as Dean was dropped off at the rehabilitation center for youth he cut himself off from everybody else and stayed locked in his room save for going to his therapist appointment and when Bobby and Sam showed up every weekend.

He went through horrible hallucinations and sweats. As soon as he arrived he showed text book examples of depression and anxiety. He was put on medication to help this and medication to slowly ease him off the heavy drugs he was on. It was a much healthier supplement of the drugs he was on.

The whole time his therapist, -a pretty lady that would rather go by Tessa than Doctor McKeon- said that it would be hell for him if he went cold turkey.

She encouraged Dean to take part in the daily group meetings, socialize and exercise. Tessa learnt fast that Dean was was rather uncooperative.

During the first week Dean thought he was losing his mind. He tried everything he could to get his hands on heroin. He even tried calling Sam and asking he could bring him something

"Just this once and then never again." Dean promised. Sam just heaved an annoyed and upset sigh and hung up. Dean whipped his cell phone across the room with a frustrated cry and watched it shatter against the wall in anger.

The next week Dean went to Tessa, it was, as she called it 'bonding time for them.'

"So Dean," Tessa began, nibbling on the lid of her pen staring at the paper with all the information Sam and Bobby had give the center about him.

"You want to tell me what this friendship fall out was?" She said staring up at him with soft honey brown eyes.

Dean stared at her and debated on whether or not he should tell her.  
Bring up Cas would hurt and Dean didn't want to hurt. He wanted to shove the memories he had with Cas far, far away and never look at them again.

"Dean." She said pulling him back.

"His name was Cas- well Castiel but that's a mouthful." Dean blurted out with a slight flinch of how easy the name rolled off his tongue.

He noticed that Tessa scribbled something down on the pad of paper she had in front of her.

"How did you meet Cas?" She replied softly. Dean chuckled sadly thinking back to the night he met Cas.

"At a party."

"What happened at this party?"

Dean looked at Tessa skeptically. He really didn't want to tell her. He barley even knew the women.

"Nothing important." Dean said quietly. Tessa hum'ed in response. They went on to talk about how Dean's meds were and how he did in school.

It took a total of 4 weeks for Tessa to finally gain Dean's trust and get him to open up.  
Dean walked in that day and looked worst that usual.

Ever since Dean had shown up the light in his eye hadn't come back, he had heavy bags from different nightmares each night and he was still eating horribly but most of the colour had come back to his face and he was gaining a bit of his weight back because at least he was eating more.

"Can I tell you something?" Dean asked almost frightened as he opened the door to Tessa's room.

"Of course Dean! Who else am I going to tell?" Tessa replied gently with a soft smile.

Dean nodded slightly and made sure the door shut behind him.

"We kissed that night." Dean said flopping down in his usual chair with a heavy sigh and thoughts of regret swarming up his head.

"Hold that thought." Tessa quickly opened up her filling cabinet and skimmed through them.

She brought up Dean's old information that she had written the day she got Dean to mention Castiel's name.

"Okay, go on." She said fishing it out and getting her pen ready.

"The night we met, I kissed him. It was a group of us and we were playing spin the bottle. We ended up being sent into a room in Jo's house and I kissed him." Dean smiled sadly remembering it.

"Then he kissed me. I remember the other people at the party calling him gay and a faggot." Dean frowned.

When Dean decided that Tessa wasn't going to say anything he went on.

"He- he cut himself. Really bad too, there was blood every where. All over his stomach and arms. He told me he had some on his legs but I didn't want to look." Dean took a deep breath before continuing.

"I helped him to clean them one day." he said softly.

"So, after you kissed him you two remained friends?" Tessa asked gently not wanting to destroy all the progress Dean had made.

"Yeah, for the most part."  
"For the most part?"  
Dean took a deep breath.

"The night.. The night we stopped talking we kissed."

"Do you want to tell me about that night?"

Dean's thoughts drifted back to the night Cas had walked out of his life.

He still remembered how the rain felt in between them and the way Cas's lips matched his perfectly. He could remember Cas's odd speech patterns. How was he would say his name. How bright his eyes were.

He remember the day he had given Cas a piggyback ride and how happy he had been. How adorable Cas had been when he glared at him.

God, that whole day he just wanted to kiss the other boy but he knew better.

Thinking back to Cas hurt. It hurt a lot. Dean didn't look after him and let the best thing happen to him go. He hadn't even noticed he had started crying until a brown tissue box was being held out in front of him.

He looked up to see Tessa looking at him softly.

His eyes widened and he was getting ready to run away and Tessa's calm voice broke the silence.

"Dean, you can't keep running from this. It's going to eat you alive. Please finish, if you do you can probably leave this building and go home sooner."

Dean scrubbed at his tears, Dean hated crying. It made him look vulnerable.

He thought over Tessa's words and lowered himself back into his seat. He wanted the hell out of this place.

"O-Okay." He whispered. "Take your time Dean." Tessa urged gently.

"He kept knocking on the door, like something was wrong. He- he came over to my house. He was in crutches and it was raining. Raining really hard and he was drenched, like, head to toe. His hair was dripping and his eyes looked really blue. He had a bruise on his cheek. He- he kissed me. And I kissed him back. Th-then he asked to come inside and I let him. He- he told me we couldn't be together anymore and told me he wasn't good for me. I thought he was joking or something but he was serious. He told me he couldn't see me anymore and I freaked out. I kissed him and asked him why and he said his Mother. He started crying."

Dean's tears came down faster. It hurt to talk about this, it hurt like taking a band aid off and he wanted to run away and bury Cas and everything that had come with him. The good and the bad. He wanted to forget about Cas now. He wanted to hate him but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He wanted to do drugs and drink life away. Forget everything. Forget about ever coming here. He couldn't do it anymore. Dean broke down, deep sobs taking over his body.

Tessa came over and ran a gentle hand over his back in a soothing manner.

"Breath Dean, just breath." But it hurt to breathe. Everything hurt. Dean tried to stop crying, but he just couldn't. Soon, he started gasping for air he was sobbing so hard.

He kept imagining Cas's smile, the way he'd talk, the way he looked like he had permanent bed head, how blue his eyes were, how he blushed after Dean told him to get on his back to give him a piggy back ride.

Dean finally calmed down after about 20 minutes of pure crying.

"I fucking hate crying." Dean grumbled, jutting his lip out and looking out the window. Tessa held back a chuckle.

"Well Dean, I feel like we've made some amazing progress today." She said with a smile. Dean looked back at her with hopeful, bloodshot eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. If you keep it up you can probably leave soon." Dean broke out into a small smile despite his recent break down.

"I want you, if you feel comfortable with it, to try and start working out in the gym. It'll help you deal with your anger and depression."

Tessa said scribbling something down onto the pad of paper in her lap.  
"O-okay." Dean whispered.

Tessa broke out into a smile.

When Dean left from Tessa's room he went right to his room. He was so Exhausted from crying he passed out and stayed asleep until the next day.  
-

First thing the next more Dean got changed, grabbed his iPod and went down stairs to work out in the gym.

Dean's POV

When I arrived at the gym I noticed that it was males and females working out in the same room. My brows pulled together but I shrugged it off and went over to the treadmill.

Before everything had gone to shit I was actually pretty good at running. I liked running.

My feet pounded down on the machine as I ran as I started off with a simple jog and it felt great.

It didn't take long for my eyes to wander from my machine to the girls in the gym.

One particular girl caught my eye.

She was talking to another girl who I didn't have much interest in but she had a pair of very short shorts on that showed off her long, slim legs.

She had a tank top that dipped a little lower than need be, her long, flowy brown hair fell just below her shoulders bring out her innocent looking eyes, they were a enticing blueish green that drew me in.

Her lazy gaze suddenly turned to me and she broke out in a sly smirk.

Once she caught my eye I flinched and looked away. I couldn't go down that road again. Not right here, not right now.

"Good idea to look away mate, she is not something you want to tap." A very British voice said slyly beside me making me jump.

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled, slamming my hand on the stop button on the machine.

"Sorry to for the startle." I looked over to see a plump man with a blue eyes, short brown hair and a cunning, almost evil smile. He was just sitting on one of the stationary bike.

I raised a brow looking at him.

"Names Crowley." He stuck out a hand in front of me. I skeptically took it and with a firm grip I shook it.

"Dean, Dean Winchester."

"Pleasure." He replied his grip just as strong as mine.

Just as we pulled apart, the pretty brunette from before strutted over to us. "I'm afraid we haven't met yet." She said with a British accent.

Why the hell was everyone British all of a sudden? I thought sourly.

"Don't waist your breath hunny, can't you see he's gay." Crowley stated as if it was clear as day. I chocked on nothing but air.

"N-no I am not!" I yelped, eyes wide. The girl sent a glare at Crowley.

"Really Crowley? You may have some sick twisted fantasies but don't bring him into it." She turned to me and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'm Bela." With that she gave a shy smile. "Dean." I said not making eye contact.

Crowley howled out a laugh. "Shut up Crowley!" She hissed glaring at him.

A loud shrieking bell suddenly hushed the room before groans filled the room. Group time.

"Ya know Dean, you've been here for what a month? Yet you've never come to group. you should come." Crowley smirked.

I took a quick glance at Bela, who didn't seem interested in leaving me alone.

I nodded. "Sure."

Group was just as I thought it would be. We all sat around in a large circle with Tessa instructing us what to talk about.

I had Crowley sitting on one side of me and on the other side a girl -Meg she said her name was- sat on my other side.

We went around the circle talking about who we were and why we were here.

When it came to me I simply passed. Tessa gave me an annoyed glared to which I smirked back at her.

When group was over I was ready to go to was when I started walking back to my room that anything interesting happened.

The girl that sat beside, Meg, decided she wanted to talk to me.  
She stood beside my door and gave me a warm smile when I rounded the corner and came into her vision.

"Ahhh Dean-o there you are!" I shot her a confused look. "Hello?"

"Crowley and I are.. close." She said taking three steps to close the distance between us and pinned me up to the wall.

My breath hitched.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked gently pushing her away from me. "Aww Deano don't act like that." She came back and trying to kiss my neck.

"Leave me alone." I said angrily pushing her back harder.

She let out a howl of a laugh. When she brought her head back up I nearly screamed.

Her smile slowly started getting bigger and bigger, until it was identical to the Chester cat's smile. Yellow, razor teeth shone through.

The smile slowly cracked and peeled off her skin. The flakes floated to the floor. Yellowish greyish bone peeked through the cracks where the skin had come off and where it was starting to come off.

Two small, black horns ripped through the top of her head and curled in whites in her eyes disappeared and were replaced with a ebony black.

Her laugh turned into a demonic laugh. I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. When I open them back up she looked like herself again.

Hallucination. I thought bitterly.

"Screw off!" I yelled rushing into my room and slamming the door.

I took in a few deep breaths before I started up my iPod and let music fill the room.

I drifted into a deep sleep.

_3rd person POV_

In another 2 months Dean was released from the rehabilitation center.

During those 2 months Tessa was able to get Dean to talk about his childhood and what had happened and where his Dad had actually gone.

She had figured out that his mom died in a house fire. The night it happened Dean asked if they could have a fire and roast marshmallows.

Mary had been sick so she wasn't able to join them.

One of the burning coals jumped and hit a dry patch of grass beside the house, burning it down to the ground in a matter of minutes.

She also learnt that Dean blamed himself for this.

She learnt that Sam and Dean lived with Bobby and not their dad because one night Bobby had come over for dinner and when John offered him a beer there was none left so, John tried to take his anger out on Sam- who had only been 10 at the time.

He picked up Sam and shove him up against a wall, ready to hit him but Bobby intervened and told the boys to wait in his truck.

There was a lot of yelling and loud bangs and when Bobby came out of the house he was holding his bloody and nose. "He was down right pissed" Dean said, "but he took us to his house and we've lived there ever since."

She learnt that she was not Dean's first therapist. She learnt that John became abusive because he blamed Mary's death on the kids.

The next few sessions Dean told Tessa more about the party he met Cas at and how he had gotten blood all over his hands. He told her about how he beat Sam up. Then lastly how he almost hit the blue eyed boy with his car.

He told her about how he'd have horrible nightmares about actually hitting him with his car and killing him.

Tessa taught Dean a few tricks he could do if he was ever about to break down or got to angry. She got him set up with a therapist and a group he could go to every month that was 10 minutes from his house.

_Sam's POV_

Bobby and I pulled up to the rehab center and looked at each other with anxious looks.

I couldn't wait to bring Dean home. The real Dean, not the doped up selfish Dean. The happy- go- lucky Dean that always had your back.

We climbed out of Bobby's old truck and walked up to the front doors. It looked a lot like a hospital in a way. It was high up, at least 10 floors. It was a soft brown with a creamy white that separated the windows. There was an extended roof that lead out from the front door. In big, bold letters Avenues to Recovery read across the extended roof.

We walked up and I opened the large glass door.

Dean knew he was coming home today so he was supposed to be waiting for us. My eyes searched every face in the room for him.

It didn't take long for his eyes to catch mine.

As soon as our eyes connected we both broke out into huge, knowing smiles. He looked so much better.  
The spark in his eyes were back, his face was full of colour, he no longer had those god awful bags under his eyes and he had gained all his weight back plus more.

His shoulders and arms were much larger and wider, indicating that he's been lifting weight or doing something to gain the muscle mass.

He practically ran over to us and pulled us into a rough hug. "I've missed you guys." He muttered into my shoulder.

"We missed you too boy." Bobby said gruffly, wearing a huge smile himself.

Dean and Bobby had to fill out a few forums before Dean was able to be released.

The two of them happily signed away, our smiles were apparently so contagious it made the receptionist smile with us. They filled the papers out and we all walked out to the truck with a jump in our step.

"I am not going to miss this place." Dean said happily. "I bet!" I laughed.

Dean shot a wide smile my way before turning his head toward the truck. A mysterious glint appeared in his eyes that I hadn't seen for a long time.

I narrowed my eyes, a smile still on my face. Before I could ask what he was doing he cried out "Shotgun!" and took off running to the truck, pulling the front door open and slamming it shut.

"Bitch!" I called after him.  
"Jerk!"

_Deans POV_

After a half an hour truck ride we pulled up to Bobbys house.  
I broke out in an even bigger smile, noting that the house hadn't changed one little bit.

On the ride home I had told them about what I did at the center and I told them I couldn't wait to get home.

I could tell they were itching to find out what had happened between Cas and I that sent me into such a downwards spiral but I didn't want to tell them yet.

This was going to be a happy day not a sucky one. I couldn't wait to get inside. I was so excited that I was giddy.

I tore through the drive way and ran inside.

I didn't care if Sam and Bobby though I was crazy. I just couldn't wait to get home.

I pulled the door open with way too much force and smiled when I stepped in. The familiar musky scent hit me almost immediately.

I looked around the old house, drinking in the familiar sight.

"Just gunna stand there like an idjit or are you actually going to go in?" Bobby's deep voice rumbled behind me. I jumped slightly before smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry Bobby, it feels like years since I've been home, ya know?"

I said as I walked into the house. I heard Sam chuckle behind us. My stomach let out a loud growl and I smiled taking off into the kitchen.

"It's like he friggin 5 again." I heard Bobby say fondly.

Sam's laugh soon followed.

I walked into the kitchen and went right to the fridge. I opened the door open and my eyes went wide. They bought pie! I picked it up before tossing it onto the familiar old wood table and grabbed a fork eating right out of the package it came in.

"Dean save some for us!" Sam laughed. I shook my head.

"No way man, do you know how long it's been since I've had pie!?" I shoved a piece into my mouth, let out a loud moan and closed my eyes in content.

Bobby and Sam both laughed.

Sam grabbed a fork and tried to pick a piece out of the container but I pulled it away. "No!" I cried.

Bobby laughed harder and Sam narrowed his eyes at me. "And to think, I actually missed you!"

Later that night Bobby had informed me that he had a friend coming over that was going to help me a lot like Tessa did but in a much less professional way. He told me her name was Charlie and that she was once an addict herself.

He also warned me that she is a lesbian, "so don't try anything funny on her, she wont be scared to knock ya into next Tuesday." I was sitting on the couch watching tv when she came over.

When she knocked on the door it was me who got up and answered it. She had long, bright red hair that stopped just below she shoulders. She had warm blue eyes and a bright, pretty smile.

She was wearing a dark navy jacket with a bright blue shirt underneath that had a cat on it. She was carrying a checkered backpack that looked very full. I raised a brow.

"You must be Dean!" She said happily, pushing past me and walking in.

Bobby's head popped up from behind his computer as he heard Charlie's voice. Once he caught sight of her bright hair he smiled.

He pulled himself up and walked over to us, engulfing her into a tight hug, to which she gladly hugged back. "Hey Bobby." She said happily.

"How have you been?" Bobby replied pulling out of the hug, looking down at her. "Same old, same old." She laughed.

"So, This is Dean." She said turning to me and smiling.

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Bobby told me a bit about you and what you've done." I looked away, embarrassed.

"Hey, it's cool, it happens to the best of us." She said, I looked up and she was wearing a soft smile. I nodded.

"So! Where do I set up?" She said looking at Bobby. I looked from her to Bobby and finally back to her bag.

It suddenly clicked.

"She's living with us?" I asked stunned.

"Damn right."

Charlie ended up bunking in the spare bed room. Apparently she didn't have anywhere to stay so Bobby invited her to stay with us for a little bit. He said that it would be good for her to stay with us for a little bit while I was adapting back into my regular scheduled.  
The next few weeks were pretty uneventful.

Sam invited Jo over and we all hung out a lot. Charlie turned out to be pretty damn awesome and was becoming a great friend. Because school was out for summer Bobby had me help out in his shop, which I gladly did, I loved working on the old cars and helping to bring in money for Bobby.

Sam was home a lot, but he would also go out to the Novak's house. He'd make up some lame ass excuse like 'I'm going for a run' and be back 5 hours later, or he'd say that he had to step out and come back the next day.

I wasn't stupid, but I understood why he wasn't telling me. Before I left I had been to ignorant to pay attention to Sam and how he was doing.

If I had opened my eyes at the time I would have noticed that he was spending a lot more time with Gabriel and Gabriel had been coming over a lot more.

I figured he wasn't telling me because he didn't want me to think about Cas.

Thinking about Cas didn't hurt as much anymore, it still hurt a little but it was bearable. Sometimes I wonder how he's doing and if he's still cutting.

I often think back to his Mother and what the hell was wrong with her. In rehab I eventually put two and two together and figured the only reasonable explanation as to why he had so many cuts and bruises was because of his Mother, but then, why didn't any of his other siblings have any injured like that?

I was still on medication, I was on meds for depression and anxiety and sleeping pills. The only ones that I didn't have to take daily was the sleeping pills, I only took them when I couldn't stop tossing and turning with nightmares at night, which was now, only once a week.

"Dean!"

Sams voice called, pulling me out of my trance. It was one of those lazy Sunday nights. I had finished all the work I had in the shop, Charlie was out with her girlfriend for a date and Jo had to work at her mom restaurant.

It was just Sam and I at home.

I replied with a grunt not taking my eyes off the tv.

It was then I heard a knock on the door. "Can you get that? I'm busy." I pulled my eyes away from the tv and looked over at Sam.

He was writing something.  
"Sure.".  
There was another knock, this one more rushed.

"I'm coming!" I yelled annoyed. I dragged my feet over to the door and and put my hand on the door nob and turned it, opening it wide.

I couldn't believe it.

Two, dark blue eyes landed on mine on, filling with relief.

"Hello Dean."

* * *

I have no idea how many different pov's I had in the chapter. I'm guessing at least 5.

I'm gunna mess with your feels here and say that Charlie never actually met Bobby, I think she might have met Ghost!Bobby but never Bobby-Bobby. Sad eh?

_**QUESTION FOR TODAY:**_ _I'm going to ask this again because it's pretty important. Do you guys want me to write some smut in here somewhere? If you don't answer I'm just going to assume it is a yes._

Also helpful criticisms is always welcomed, please let me know if I'm doing something wrong.

Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favourites. I love you all :)


	15. Chapter 14

_"I'm coming!" I yelled annoyed. I dragged my feet over to the door and and put my hand on the door nob and turned it, opening it wide. _  
_I couldn't believe it._  
_Two, dark blue eyes landed on mine on, filling with relief._  
_"Hello Dean."_

* * *

**Warning:** _Child abuse, mentions of self harm and gay bashing(I hope thats all.)_

_Dean's POV_

Seeing him again knocked the wind out of me.  
"_C-Cas_?" I whispered my eyes wide and my throat closed up.  
I couldn't believe he was here. At my front door.  
Because it was dark out I couldn't see him all that well but from what I could see was that he looked like shit.  
It looked like he hadn't slept in days, he had a of a 5 o'clock shadow, he had heavy bruising under both of his eyes and dark patches all over his face.  
He had such a sadness to him that I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and kiss him until it was gone.  
His eyes were so dead. The only emotion they held was hopelessness and pain.  
He looked like he was about to break down and start sobbing right here on the door step.  
He was wearing a very odd tan trench coat that looked awfully out of place, he had pair of grey tack pants and the black v neck I lent him the night he slept over. I smiled sadly.  
The clothes hung loosely on him. He had lost way too much weight.  
"Dean, please, just-just let me explain." He croaked. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.  
"M-my mother kicked me out. Well, she-she told me to leave, she threatened me." A panic look struck his face.  
"I- I didn't have anywhere else to go. Please do not kick me out also Dean. I-I have no where else to go."  
With that tears collected his blue eyes. His eyes were so unnaturally beautiful that they still left me breathless.  
My heart ached.  
I missed him so badly and even though it hurt it felt amazing to know he was still alive, sure he maybe broken but he was breathing. I couldn't have been happier.  
Apparently he had interpreted my silence as rejection. His face fell and shattered, he bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing out loud. His shoulders rose and fell with each silent cry that racked through his small body.  
"I'm sorry Dean." With that he turned around and started to walk away.  
My eyes widened.  
"Shit, no Cas! Come back." I cried running out and grabbing his hand. I spun him around and pulled him in for a hug.  
I dug my face into his hair and took in a deep breath instantly calming the two of us down.  
"You can stay here." I whispered.  
I felt him crumble in my arms.  
"Th-thank y-you Dean." He wept a mixture of pain and relief into my shoulder.  
A thousand different thoughts clouded my mind at once, making me dizzy. It killed me to see him like this.  
What the fuck did his Mother say, making him this emotional? Why was he kicked out? What happened while we were apart? Why didn't he hate me? Was he still cutting? Was he going to be okay?  
It didn't take long for him to compose himself. He pulled out of the hug and looked up at me with a grateful smile.  
"Thank you Dean." He repeated.  
"It's no problem Cas, let's go in before the mosquitoes eat us alive." I chuckled weakly.  
When I turned around to go back in I saw Sam standing in the door looking at us with wide, confused and almost frightful eyes.  
I smiled sheepishly at him.  
"De-Dean.. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Sam asked, about to lose it  
I rolled my eyes before turning to Cas. "Just give us a minute, if you want you can go up to my room?" I asked softly.  
He nodded before climbing the stairs and disappearing around the corner.  
As soon as Sam was sure Cas was gone he went off the deep end.  
"What the hell is he doing here." He spat out in a harsh whisper.  
"His mom kicked him out Sam, he doesn't have anywhere else to go." I replied just as harshly.  
He immediately softened up. His shoulders visibly slouching, guilt and shame melting his features.  
"Oh." -he paused, thinking of how to phrase his next question.- "Why'd she do that?"  
"I dunno man, he just said that she kicked him out and threatened him."

Once I was done talking to Sam I asked him to give Bobby a call and let him know that Cas would be spending the night and to explain why. Sam happily agreed secretly hoping it would mask his slip up.  
I went up stairs to talk to Cas.

I opened the door gently and looked in at him.  
He was sitting on the bed staring at the pale wall. He looked over at me when I opened the door but looked away as soon as our eyes connected.  
In the light I could see him better.  
His face was a sickly pale colour and his cheeks sunken in. Both eyes had bruises underneath, his left eye looked like it was healing, his right eye looked fresh. His cheek, jaw bone, lip and nose were all bruising up really badly. Right now they were a deep, angry red with purple and yellow spots peeking through.  
His eyes were still that electrifying blue that I would never get over.  
His clothes -no, scratch that, my clothes- barley even fit him, I was shocked his pants weren't falling off. He must have lost 40 pounds that he couldn't even afford to risk in the first place.  
He looked like a skeleton.  
"I'm sorry for imposing Dean." He said quietly not meeting my eye. Guilt laced over ever single syllable.  
"Cas.. You're not imposing at all. If you ever need a place to stay you can always stay here."  
It was then he finally lifted his head and looked at me.  
He really did look horrible, his beautiful eyes were a little red and puffy from crying earlier. To me, it made him look even more handsome.  
He was giving me another one of those look-right-into-your-soul kind of looks that he gave me the first night we met.  
I felt like he was looking right through me and he could see what I had been doing while we were apart. Guilt, regret and shame crashed over me like a tidal wave making me stumble a bit.  
I felt very uncomfortable.  
I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot until it looked like what he was doing clicked in his head and looked away.  
A bright red soaked into his cheeks.  
"I'm sorry." He whispered, his voice cracking.  
I coughed awkwardly before going over and sitting beside him on the bed.  
When I sat beside him, the bed dipped down under my weigh and I accidently sat to close to him. Our thighs and shoulders touched. A warmth spread all through out me.  
He shuffled over so he was sitting away from me. I winced slightly. He was probably still scared shitless of me after I almost punched him the last night we saw each other.  
As soon as I felt tears cloud my vision I looked away and rubbed my eyes, getting rid of them.  
I was not going to cry in front of him. He needed someone who could hold themselves together and help bring him back from whatever he was going through. Basically he needed anyone other than me. I didn't deserve him anymore. I missed my chance.  
"De-Dean?" He mumbled quietly making my heart jump the way my name rolled off his tongue.  
"Yeah Cas." I looked over at him and he was looking up at me through his lashes, playing with his lower lip in with his teeth.  
"What happened to you, when we were away from each other?" He asked quietly but strongly.  
My breath hitched. I didn't really want to reveal that to him yet. I didn't want him to know how much he actually meant to me. After what I did to him I probably meant jack shit to him. He still meant the world to me which was a problem because I should just be moving on with my life, follow in his foot steps.  
"I'm sorry I should not have asked that." He said lacing his voice with no emotion what so ever.  
"If you tell me what you've been up to I'll tell you what happened to me." I blurted out before I could stop myself.  
His eyes narrowed as he started searching my expression.  
When he decided I wasn't going to back down he nodded slightly.  
"What do you want to know?" He asked playing with his fingers in a small voice.  
"Well, what happened with your mom I guess, and why'd you come here?"  
He looked at me once more, playing his eyes on my face before he began, a weary look loomed over his face.  
"She came home earlier. It was just Anna, Gabriel and I at the house. I wasn't really doing.. anything at all I do not believe. I was just watching television listening to Anna go on about her new boyfriend. Mother stormed in a grabbed me by the throat."  
My eyes flew to his neck and my blood ran cold.  
His neck was lightly tainted with red finger marks. The marks would no doubt be gone in the morning, but that still didn't stop me from being angry.  
Castiel went on in a monotone voice.  
"She picked me up right out of the chair and slammed me into the wall. She began to hit him. I believe Mother was highly intoxicated. She was slurring a lot of her words so it was hard to comprehend what exactly what she was trying to communicate. From what I could gather I believe she was fired or laid off her job. She told me it was my fault and that I should have gotten a job sooner, which I really should have. She called me a fag and a queer and told me that I will never be normal and I think she said I'm damned to hell. She told me that I was a pathetic son."  
"When she was tired of hitting me she whispered something that I couldn't catch and then she pushed me to the ground and told me to get out until I could get a stable job that could provide for the family. I went upstairs to pack but she told me to leave or she was going to kill me."  
"Normally I wouldn't believe such a foolish command but the look in her eyes told me other wise. I grabbed this coat" -He slightly pulled it closer to himself,- "and rushed out the door and started walking. I couldn't really think of another place to go.. but here. I was just praying you'd let me in."  
He looked up at me with emotionless eyes.  
I felt anger stir inside of me. It took a while for me to process what he had said but when I did exploded.  
"Where the fuck was you dad? Why would she hit you if she couldn't keep a job? Did she hit your brother or sister? We have to call the police! Where's your older brothers? You're not a fag or a queer, your not pathetic. What the fuck is wrong with her!? "  
How could he be so fucking calm about this? Shouldn't he be a nervous wreck? Or pissed off? Or something. He was so calm and emotionless. It was like he was a fucking statue. I didn't like this side of him. It was like there was 2 sides of him and if I got lucky I'd see the other side. He had to be fucking scared, he had to be angry he had to be something, other wise he wouldn't have been such a wreck when he showed up.  
I wanted the other Cas back.  
When he didn't answer I looked over to where he was sitting and saw him sitting as far away from me as he could on the other side of the bed, scrunched up against the wall. His eyes wide with fear.  
It was then I felt the searing pain in my hand. With wide eyes I stared at the destruction I had created.  
There ware 2 gaping hole in the wall in front of me..  
"Fuck." I mumbled pulling my hand close, inspecting the new craters in the wall.  
I instantly felt ashamed. Ashamed that I had destroyed Bobby's wall, ashamed I betrayed Tessa and all of our hard work but most importantly ashamed I scared Cas. Again.  
He was staring at me with wide, fearful eyes, frozen in place.  
"Fuck." I mumbled again. I slowly made my way over to him with my hands out in front of me trying to show him I wasn't going to hurt him.  
When I got a few feet in front of him his eyes got even wider and he back up even more, bumping into the wall.  
"Please don't, please!" He cried. When I got close enough I wrapped my arms around him he instantly collapsed in tears.  
A wave of relief hit me.  
"I'm sorry Cas. That was my bad. I thought my therapist had helped me through all that shit but I just black out. I'm sorry."  
"Th-therapist?" He asked pulling away to look up at me with curious eyes. I nodded.  
"Dean, what happened?" He asked using his sleeve to wipe his tears away. I smiled sadly.  
"I- I just got into some trouble. I started... doing different drugs." I flinched. I hated bring it up, if I could take it all back I would.  
Cas gasped lightly.  
"Why-why would you do that!?" He asked slightly angry making me even more ashamed of myself.  
"I'm not too sure." I lied. I knew exactly why I was did it. I wanted to forget about the world. I wanted to drown all my problems even if it was just for one night.  
"Is that why you stopped coming to school?" He asked.  
I nodded  
"I'm glad you are no longer leading that lifestyle." He said biting his lip again.  
"Me too."  
He suddenly pulled me closer and burred his face into my chest. It was a surprise at first but I soon recovered and hugged him back. I placed a soft kiss on the top of his head.  
"Hey Dean so I was thin-_ Holy shit I am so sorry_!" A loud obnoxious voice cried. I looked up to see a flash of red before watching the door close with a loud slam that reverberated off the walls of the room.  
Cas squeaked and jumped out of the hold. He lunched himself to the other side of the bed and stared at the door with wide blue eyes.  
"Well I guess you were going to have to meet her sooner or later." I grumbled, mad that Charlie ruined the moment.

* * *

GO FOLLOW **_batcacaloco-fanwarrior_** ON TUMBLR BECAUSE YET AGAIN SHE HELPED ME OUT AND SHES AMAZING. And if you're not already following me, my url is **_We-Split-Blood_**

That was way too long of a wait for a small chapter. I am so sorry. A lot of personal bullshit popped up and it sucked. I'll try and post the next chapter asap.  
I might have to put this story on pause until after exams and after I work out all this personal stuff. I'm not too sure yet. Or I just might keep writing like nothing happened. We'll have to see.  
I know that this story only has probably another 2 MAYBE 3 chapters left in it. I'm so close to done.

ALSO, sorry for last chapter, when I published it the formatting got all effed up or something, I'll fix it sooner or later lol.

**Question for today:** _This one isnt related to the story but whats your favourite book/story/fanfic/article/ect you've ever read?_

*ALSO if you're just joining the story or you've joined a few chapter back go ahead and answer any of the other questions I've asked if you'd like, I'd love to know.  
_Sorry for the long A/U_


	16. Chapter 15

_Cas squeaked and jumped out of the hold. He lunched himself to the other side of the bed and stared at the door with wide blue eyes._

_"Well I guess you were going to have to meet her sooner or later." I grumbled, mad that Charlie ruined the moment._

* * *

**Warning:** _None! :D_

_Dean's pov._

Suddenly I was incredibly pissed off and the room felt too tight. The air too thick. The walls closing in on me. I roughly got off the bed, landing with a loud 'thump' that seemed to vibrate off the enclosing walls. I stormed over to my dresser, deciding to have a shower. I ripped open the draw and grabbed random pieces of clothing.

"I'm going to have a shower." I growled, not caring for Castiel. I had to get out of the room.  
I heard a soft, "okay" come from him but I wasn't really paying much attention. It was getting hard to breath in the small, confined room.  
I stormed out and into the bathroom, much like a 5 year old but I didn't really care. Everything was pretty much auto pilot from there.

When I was finally under the stream of the water I felt better. I felt myself slump and _finally_ relax.  
That was way too close. What if Charlie never came into the room? What if I couldn't stop myself and ended up kissing Cas? This could be a whole new start, we could be friends and I could try and help Cas get better.  
I could help get him away from his mother, help him to stop cutting and teach him that he didn't always have to hide what he was feeling. I could teach him that it's okay to lean on someone else, _especially_ if that someone else was me.  
If we were at least friends then I could still have him in my life again, maybe not the way I wished but I knew that was over. I had messed up royally with Cas, and even if I could never hold him again the way I yearned I could at least have him close and know that he was adequate.  
I never wanted him to be that far out of reach ever again.  
Even if I'd never admit it out loud, I knew, even in the darkest parts of my soul that I loved him.  
I honestly have no idea how or when it happened.  
Maybe I fell for him when I kissed him the night of the party.  
Maybe it was when I saved him from Lucifer and Alistair.  
Or maybe I fell for him the night he left for 4 months.  
All I knew is that I fell hard, and it I let him fall in between my finger tips.

With a heavy heart I turned the water off and I pulled the curtain back, feeling better and less contained. It was easier to breath now and the room didn't feel so small. I dried myself off and picked up what I thought was my shirt, only to find out that it wasn't. Confused, I looked at my pants and silently cursed. Being half cocked and angry I didn't actually check what I was grabbing and ended up grabbing two pairs of pants. One was a pair of loose fitting black track pants and the other a pair of white shorts that reached my knees.  
Letting out a sigh I slid on a pair of boxers and the black track pants deciding I would just put a shirt on in my room.  
I kept the towel on my head, trying to dry my short, dark blonde hair. Felling guilty about being an ass to Cas, I approached my room with caution. When I finally got there I observed he wasn't alone.  
"Charlie what the hell are you doing!" I screeched as I stood in the door way glaring at the red head.  
I brought the towel, and my hands down from my head. I crossed my arms, the towel draping over my arms.  
The two of them were sitting across from each other. Castiel had his head slightly tipped to the side with an adorable, confused and dazed look on his face.  
Charlie, after hearing me, looked at me with wide shocked eyes. After getting over the shock of being yelled at she jumped off the bed and tried to run away.  
She tried to maneuver her way around me, but I caught her in an embrace and held her close not letting her go.  
"Ew! Oh my god, Dean! You're naked, let go of me!" She cried, mortified.  
"I'm not naked! I just don't have a shirt on!" I stated.  
"No! You're touching me and you're naked and now I'm scarred for life!" She squeaked, squirming to get out of my hold.  
"What did you tell him!" I demanded, pulling her closer. I risked a glance over at Castiel. It looked like she broke him. He had a blank expression on his face with his head still tilted slightly as he stared at the spot on the bed where she used to sit.  
"That's for me to know, and you to find out Winchester!" She cried out in a victorious voice.  
I pulled my eyes away from the confused expression to look down at Charlie.  
She had a enigmatic glint in her eye.  
Taking me off guard she wrapped her arms around me and forced all her weight forward, taking a step with the sudden move.  
Surprised, I shifted backwards a little, letting go of her ever so slightly.  
she took the opportunity, slipping out of my arms the red head took off running.  
"God damn it Charlie!" I cried running after her.  
She took off down the stairs and into the living room. Her eyes locked onto Sam, who was talking on the phone, standing by the table.  
She took shelter behind him, a smirk playing on her bright lips.  
"What the hell Charlie? Dean?" Sam asked, completely and utterly confused.  
I took a turn and went to grab her behind Sam but she ran the other way.  
"What the hell did you tell him!" I growled, eyes following her as if she was my prey. She took a sharp turn and ran into the kitchen. I took off after her trying to grab her.  
"Ew! Dean, you're naked don't touch me!" She cried out again as I close. I rolled my eyes. She was so melodramatic.  
Once she was in the kitchen and figured out there was no way out she stared at me with wide, frightened eyes.  
"No where to go now." I taunted, a smirk played upon my lips.  
Her eyes rapidly scanned the room, trying to figure a way out as I closed in on her, my arms out ready to catch her.  
Her eyes suddenly brighten as they caught onto something as if she had some bright idea.  
I took my chance and went to pounce on her knowing that the new found smirk on her lips was not good.  
She screamed and swiftly turned around and bee lined towards the open window that was over counter.  
I stopped dead in my tracks. "You wouldn't." I gasped. But she did. Oh did she ever.

She swiftly hoped up onto the counter, sitting much like a cat would, she pulled the shutters up fast and stuck her head and arms out before she began to heave herself small build out the window. I jumped forward trying to grab her but she was too quick.

Her whole body tumbled out the window and landed with a crash as she hit the ground head first.  
"Did you just jump out the fucking window!?" I yelled rushing over too look out and find her.  
I placed both my hands on the window seal and stuck my head out, looking down. Thankfully it wasn't a huge drop, 5 feet at the most.  
She groaned before picking her self back up. She looked up and me, stuck her tongue out and began running into the shadows that the night created.  
It was official, Charlie was insane.  
Still a little in shock I turned around to see Sam staring at me with frightened eyes and his jaw hanging low, the phone long forgotten.  
I chuckled at the sight.  
"Wha- did- h-how- why!?" Sam cried finally finding his voice.  
"Why were you chasing her!?" He asked his face hopeless and his hands raised, facing up in a confused gesture.  
"I dunno man she told Ca-" I stopped mid sentence.  
"Fuck I forgot about Cas!" I yelled, pushing past him and up into my room.  
When I made it there he was simply staring at the floor, a blank expression on his face.  
_Fuck._  
"What did she tell you!?" I asked, alarmed.  
Suddenly, he looked over at me and held my panicked gaze. He looked at me with that look-into-you-soul look which distressed me even more.  
"You... love me?"

* * *

WOAH CLIFFHANGER

THAT WHOLE CHARLIE JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW IS POSSIBLE. I've seen it happen before lol.

**_LET ME EXPLAIN WHY ITS BEEN 5 FUCKING DAY SINCE AN UPDATE:_******I had a huge English test that basically made me hate writing for a while. The test was huge, it basically decides if I pass or not and it is NOT and exam, I still have yet to do that and I still have classes.  
So after that I really didn't feel like writing.  
My social life has mysteriously picked up which is great lol, I've been having a lot of fun.

_Now for random notifications and shit lol_

**IM CHANGING THE RATING TO M!**

I'm going to be away from Saturday-Monday, so sadly there wont be an update over the weekend,_ maybe_ on Monday but I dunno.

YESTERDAYS EPISODE FREAKING KILLED ME. I WAS CRYING LIKE A BABY.

**Question for today:**_ I know I already asked this but is there anything you would like to see before this story ends?_

Also I'm a beta now! You should go check out _**Amelia L**_ and **_ ktravierso_**!

_Sorry for the long a/u_


	17. Chapter 16

_Okay, so this chapter we're rewinding SO I'm going to just recap where I'm picking up at. Enjoy!_

Rewind to chapter 14: _Once I was done talking to Sam I asked him to give Bobby a call and let him know that Cas would be spending the night and to explain why. Sam happily agreed secretly hoping it would mask his slip up._

* * *

**Warning:******_None!_

_Sam's pov_

Talking Bobby out of coming home and killing Castiel was a lot easier than I thought it'd be. He was at the Roadhouse with Ellen and Jo so when I called him he was a little reluctant to come to the phone but he did. When I told him what was going on he simple grumbled something along the lines of 'Ya idjits, I'm not a friggin motel," and basically hung up.  
I laughed and decided to call Gabriel and let him know that Castiel had ventured over to the house.  
It rung 2 times before he picked up.  
"Hey Sammy." He said sounding trying to hide the exhaustion and sadness from his voice. I frowned.  
"Hey Gabe, um, so, Castiel is at my house. With Dean." I blurted out.  
"What!? No way? Is he okay? I'm coming over now. I have to make sure he's okay!" Gabriel rushed out all at once.  
"No!" I cried "You can't come over! Dean doesn't know about us yet remember!" I said alarmed.  
"Sammy, love, that's my brother I have to make sure he's okay!" Gabriel pleaded.  
"Dean told me why came here." I paused for a second, changing the subject.  
It really wasn't my place to ask, but I had to know.  
"Do you know why he's here?"  
There was silence on the other end before a loud, annoyed sigh.  
"Yes... Mother kicked him out. I thought he would have gone to see Micheal or someone. Now tell me is he okay!?"  
"He's okay, I promise! I saw him. He looked a little beat up and upset but he was okay, and Dean's with him."  
"Oh yeah cause we all know how good of a care taker Dean is." Gabriel spat stunning me momentarily.  
"Wh-what did you just say?" I asked narrowing my eyes.  
"Nothing, forget I said anything." He mumble quietly.  
"Gabriel, You do realize he practically raised me while our father was out drinking every night, or passed out on the couch right? Do you know how many hits he took for me? Dean is a lot of things but a bad care taker is one of the things he isn't! He fucking went to rehab to get better!" I hissed aggressiveness.  
I took a deep breath to calm myself. How dare he? Gabriel barley knows anything about Dean and is so quick to jump to conclusions all because of one bad slip up.  
"Listen, babe, I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any anything. I'm just worried about Castiel ya know?" He apologized softly.  
I sighed, I felt my shoulder sag and my head lull to the side. I couldn't stay made at him, especially with the state he was in.  
"It's okay babe." I said softly.  
Before Gabriel could get another word out light, fast foot steps followed by loud, clumsy ones came charging down the stairs.  
"What the hell?" I mumbled watching Charlie run down the stairs, her red hair flying behind her and her eyes wide with fear. Behind her, was a very pissed off Dean who looked ready to kill, his arms were outstretched trying to latch onto her. He was also shirtless which just made everything much more confusing.  
Once she made it to the landing her eyes locked with mine and she ran behind me, panting slightly  
"What the hell Charlie? Dean?" I uttered, confused. What they hell were they doing, playing tag?  
Dean, without warning, dove towards her, almost knocking into me making me drop the phone. Charlie swiftly avoided his hands and ran the other way around me.  
"What the hell did you tell him?" Dean basically growled in a very animalistic way. His eyes never leaving her, watching her every move. He was starting to scare me.  
The two of them ran off into the kitchen and chased each other a bit more before Charlie climbed up to the window and jumped, head first.  
Dean, clearly alarmed ran over to the now empty window and looked down at her.  
He stared a little before he turned around to catch me eye.  
He chuckled lightly.  
I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Was she okay? What happened? Where did she go? Why was Dean shirtless? Where was Castiel?  
All the questions seemed to fumble out of my mouth until I could form some sort of question  
"Why were you chasing her!?" I threw my hands up, hopelessly. They were acting like such children! A smile spread out on his face  
"I dunno man she told Ca-" The smile bled off his face and his eyes grew wide. All the colour drained from his face.  
"Fuck I forgot about Cas!" He roared as he ran past me, shoving me out of the was and rushed up to his room.  
"What the hell Dean." I mumbled rubbing the arm he pushed against. Sighing while shaking my head I turned around and oh so conveniently spotted the phone laying on the ground.  
I cursed rushing over to it and picking it up.  
"Gabriel are you still there!?" I blurted out all at once.  
"Sammy what the hell just happened!?" He asked angry. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Thank god he didn't hang up.  
"No-nothing. Charlie just jumped out the window." I laughed.  
"Holy shit, didn't think she had it in her." He replied casually. I let out a breathy laugh.  
"Neither did I."  
"Okay, so how's Cas doing? I'm coming to see him tomorrow." He demanded.  
"He's fine, like I said Dean's got him. I can check up on them before I got to sleep."  
"I'm seeing him tomorrow Sam." Gabriel demanded in a louder ton.  
"Okay okay, just don't come like first thing in the morning."  
"I'll be there at 9."  
"No, babe that's first thing in the morning."  
"No it isn't."  
"Yes it is."  
"I let myself in then."  
"I'll lock the door"  
"I know where you keep the key."  
"Gabriel." I snapped in a stern voice.  
"Fine!" He caved. "9:30 no later. Good night, I love you!" with that he hung up.  
"God damnit." I grumbled.

Later that night Bobby came home as I was getting ready for bed and he really wasn't too upset with Cas spending the night.  
It wasn't until he entered the kitchen that he was pissed.  
He turned to me and in a low, demanding voice he said "Son, mind tellin' me whys there a freaking show print on my counter?"

* * *

I HAVE DECEIVED YOU, You all probably thought this was going to be Destiel and I was going to pick up on the cliffhanger but I didnt! :D But there was a bit of fluffy Sabriel.  
I honestly don't think I really like this chapter and I might re write it and add more information but I dunno yet.  
Now you all sadly have to wait until Monday(ish) until I pick back up with the Destiel!  
This also needs to be more edited but I'll do that later.

_Question for today:_ What're you guys going to do during the 5 month hiatus until the next episode?


	18. Chapter 17

_Suddenly, he looked over at me and held my panicked gaze. He looked at me with that look-into-you-soul look which distressed me even more._  
_"You... love me?"_

* * *

_Warning: Mentions of self harm._

_Dean's POV_

Everything in that moment seemed to stop. Cas stared at me with blank stare with his head titled slightly.  
Of course, I blurted the first thing that popped into my head.  
"Well.. I- I- I love you like a brother!" With that I smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of my neck. I could feel my face heating up.  
His features twisted and contorted into annoyance.  
"You do not kiss your brother Dean, That is incest." He replied matter of factly.  
"i- Uh, um.. I." I stuttered really not knowing what to say. He's right, people don't go around kissing their brothers. I tried to think of what to say, anything!  
I remembered what caused this mess and my face darkened.  
"What the hell did Charlie tell you!?" I snapped angrily.  
"She simply stated that you have been into rehab and that you have a deep affections for me."  
I felt my face heat up. Of course Charlie would say that.  
"l-listen Cas." I stuttered before clearing my throat.  
"There might have been something goin on between us before but there's nothing there anymore." I said quietly not meeting his eyes and staring at the floor.  
I heard him climb off the bed and walk over to me. His feet came into my line of view as he approached me.  
"Dean look at me."  
I raised my head and looked at him skeptically.  
"So, if I did this, you would still feel the same way?" He asked, the blank look seeming to be permanent on his face.  
"Did wha-" I was cut short when he suddenly grabbed me, pulled me into the room and away from the door, he used his foot to close it behind him. He gently grabbed each side of my shoulders and pressed me up against the wall. His eyes stared at my lips in a hungry sort of way.  
"Cas? What are you doing?" I asked a little shocked.  
"You talk to much." He whispered before he leaned up a little and pressed our lips together. He trailed his hands up my stomach, abs, chest, neck and then tangled his fingers in my hair.  
I tried my best not to give in. I really did but his chapped lips were surprisingly soft and inviting. I was almost able to push him away but his tongue darted out from behind his plump lips and poked and prodded at my bottom lip.  
I groaned and melted into him.  
I wrapped my hand around his waist and pulled him closer, slopply opening my mouth for his access. He let out a happy noise and jerked our lower regions together making me gasp. He smirked into the kiss and nipped gently against my lower lip pulling it out.  
I was suddenly painfully aware of my growing erection.  
We pulled away briefly to catch our breath before we pulled back together.  
His hands started exploring all over my open torso as I took lead of the kiss. He really had no idea how crazy I really was over him.  
I slide my tongue into his mouth and explored as much as I could as he slowly and painfully started rubbing our crotches together making me moan out louder than I probably should.  
"Too many clothes." I slurred pulling away in a haze. I tugged his trench coat off and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw his scars in the corner of my eye.  
"Cas." I breathed out in shock pulling away. I felt my heart drop into my gut at the sight.  
He had so many new cuts, way too many to count. They were all deep and jagged.  
The one that surprised me the most was the one that was stitched up.  
It was vertical and had 5-7 stitches weaved into it.  
It covered most of the length of his arm and looked very painful. It had a deep red center and red surrounding it.  
"Ignore them." He whispered trying to pull me back but I pulled away once again.  
"No." I said sternly. He rolled his eyes.  
"Oh come on! Not right now Dean, lets worry about that later." He tried to trail down my jaw bone with little fluttery kisses but I pulled out of his embrace and squatted down to get a better look at them I gently gripped his arm and brought it close. He tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him.  
Some of the cuts looked infected, most of the were extremely deep.  
I wanted to cry.  
"Why, Cas?" I said not trying to hid the sorrow from my voice.  
With an annoyed sigh he gave up and glared at his arm.  
"You really want to know Dean?" He asked, suddenly sounding exhausted. I looked away from his arm and met his eyes. All lust and pleasure had been drowned by sorrow and anger. I nodded.  
"Because I fucking missed you, I couldn't stand it that you were mad at me and that I fucked up okay! I shouldn't have chose my mother over you and I just didn't want to have to wake up another day alone knowing that I let the best thing that ever happened to me go!"  
He did this because of me? I was speechless.  
"Cas, I- I just- I don't know what to say."  
"That I'm a reject? A freak? A loser? I can read it all on your face Dean. It's okay you don't need to tell me twice."  
He pulled his arm away and went to pull on his trench coat.  
"Dont!" I cried out. "I mean, what're you doing?!"  
"Saving you the trouble of kicking me out. I know you are too good of a man to do that Dean so I can show myse-"  
"Fuck no!" I roared cutting him off. "You're not leaving! I just got you back you can't leave!" This time tears escaped my eyes but I didn't care. I couldn't lose him again, I couldn't.  
I jumped up and held him close.  
"You can't leave me again Cas." I mumbled miserably into his neck.  
He seemed a little shocked but slowly loosened up. I felt his shoulders raise and fall and a single whimper escape past his lips.  
"I didn't want to leave." He sobbed quietly against me.  
I chuckled dryly. "Then don't."

* * *

WOW THAT WAS FREAKING SAD. I am so sorry that I am not sorry.  
I don't know if I like this chapter but Im going to post it now, I have to go lol.  
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST CHAPTER OMG BUT ITS TOTALLY NOT.  
I have a model/dance performance in less then 15 minutes so I wanted to get this out to you guys now. If I'm not too tired after the show I will write the last last chapter and post it :)

No question today! Sorry guys, I'm running a little short on time lol.


	19. Chapter 18

_shoulders raise and fall and a single whimper escape past his lips._  
_"I didn't want to leave." He sobbed quietly against me._  
_I chuckled dryly. "Then don't._"

* * *

**Warning:**_ Mentions of self harm._

_Dean's POV_

Once Cas had calmed down I took him into the bathroom to help clean out his cuts. He was reluctant to but eventually followed me.

I soon learned that he didnt have any fresh or healing cuts anywhere other that just his arms thankfully.  
Once I was done I took his hand and led us back into my room. We both laid back on the bed, facing each other our hands still entwined.  
"I can't believe that you're here, right now." I whispered staring into his impossibly blue eyes. He smiled.  
"I thought I'd never see you again." I said, my brows pulling together.  
"I didn't either." He said in that adorable gravely voice of his.  
"I'm glad you're here." I smiled again but wider this time. He chuckled softly.  
"Me too." With that he pulled forward slightly and pecked me softly on the lips almost shyly.  
His lips were soft and chapped and his stubble tickled against mine.  
He pulled away and smiled at me once again but I wanted more. I leaned forward, pressed our lips together again but this time with more need. I ran my hands up his body and tangled them into his hair while his hands explored my exposed chest.  
We started moving more in sync. I darted my tongue out and ran it across his lower lip. He let out a low moan and happily obliged. I felt my lower abdomen tighten at the sound. I rolled my hips forward creating friction between us causing him to yelp into the kiss.  
We battled dominance, our tongues dancing. After a few more tries I gave in and let Cas take control.  
His hot tongue explored all over my mouth while I let out a low moan that seemed to shake us both.  
I felt him smile into the kiss as he ran his slim tongue across the roof and bottom of my mouth, over my gums and my teeth. We finally pulled away to catch our breath.  
"You have a lot more muscle now." he stared at my abs and chest in disbelief, almost like he had wanted to say that all night.  
I felt my cheeks heat up, suddenly embarrassed.  
I latched back onto him and trailed little nips and kisses down his jawline to his neck trying to forget what he had just said.  
He let out a breathy giggle.  
I started pinching and pulling at his skin trying to find his sensitive spot with my teeth. Once I found one I thought to be satisfying enough I bit down hard leaving a dark possessive mark.  
"Dean!" He squeaked in surprise. "Sorry" I mumbled licking away the little bit of blood that had appeared.  
While I was working on his neck he swiftly pulled my pants off leaving me in nothing but my boxers.  
I push my hands underneath his thin v-neck shirt and brought it over his head, happy to explore the new found area. My hands wandered and so did my mouth.  
He had more scars than before but there were 3 huge criss crosses that really stood out. I trailed over them with soft little kisses.  
I stopped and looked up at him. His eyes were filled with lust and adoration as he watched me work.  
"You have to promise me Cas." I started in a low, deep voice. He cocked his head to the side.  
"You have to promise to never do this again, never harm yourself ever again. Please?" I begged slightly looking up at him painfully.  
He swallowed harshly before nodding his head "I promise Dean." I shot him a bright smile before I continued down.  
Once I made it to his waist, I straddled him and my hands landed the waist band to his track pants.  
A painful looking bulge raised the fabric up, trying to escape and find release.  
I stopped and looked up at him with a questioning gaze. His eyes held so much trust and admiration it nearly took my breath away. How could he be that trusting towards me? Me? The man who nearly punched him and then left him to rot for four months.  
"You sure you want to do this?" I asked softly. He nodded in anticipation.  
"Wait, Cas, are you sure you're fine with this? When we first met you were scared shitless that you were going to go to hell just for kissing me, this- this is a little more than kissing." I chuckled nervously.  
To be honest_ I_ was the one terrified of taking this next step. Sure I've had sex with tons of girls but never once with a guy, and all the girls I had been with I felt little to nothing for them. But, with Cas it was different. Cas was my whole world and I was in love with him. I was almost hoping he'd say he wasn't ready because if I fucked this up to then it would change everything.  
He made a face and let out an annoyed huff "Dean," he nagged, "I've already committed one of the biggest sins in the bible, I'm already going to hell, so why not live a little, now please just_ fuck me_!" He begged.  
I let out another nervous chuckle and hooked my fingers under both his boxers and tack pants, in one fast swipe I pulled them both off.  
I heard him let out a harsh gasp as the cold air hit his hard cock.  
I lowered my head down slowly and lick away the pre cum dripping out of the tip of his painful looking dick, figuring I was doing the right thing.  
"Dean!" He yelped loudly. I smirked, liking the response I got before slowly lowering my mouth more. He bucked his hips making his cock sink deeper into my mouth. I caught his hips before he choked me and held him down.  
"Dean! I am so sorry!" He squeaked trying to jump up. I grunted in response, holding him down and started to duck down more and suck in, in an almost teasing manner, gaining more and more confidence.  
I jerked and come back up fast with a soft 'pop' making us both moan loudly. He tangle his hand into my hair leading me up and down.  
I brought my hand up and start massaging his balls making him call out my name.  
I let my tongue swill around his length as I bobbed up once more.  
"Dean! I'm so close!" He cried out flushing a deep red rolling his hips again making me hold him down.  
Soon his warm seed exploded into my mouth with a loud cry of pleasure. I was taken by surprised and choked a little but soon recuperated and swallowed.  
I licked my lips getting rid of the salty residue. I raised myself up and collapsed beside Castiel on the pillow, facing him. I suddenly felt very exhausted.  
I lazily slung one of my arms around his waist and pulled him in close. I pulled the blanket over us and snuggled into his neck.  
"Did- did you just eat my cum!?" Cas asked horrified. I let out a laugh. "That's disgusting." he said snarling his lip up making me laugh harder.  
After a few minutes of a peaceful silence Cas spoke up.  
"Hey Dean?" He murmured apprehensively. I grunted snuggling in even closer just wanting to sleep.  
"I-I love you." He whispered.  
My tired eyes shot open and looked at him. A thousand different emotions seemed to play on his face all at once. A blissful smile broke out on to my face once I released he wasn't joking. "I love you too Cas." With that I nuzzled my way back into his neck and pulled him closer before drifting off into the best sleep I've ever had.

* * *

So thats it, thats the end of it my lovelies! Thank you for staying with the story this long and thank you for all the support it got! I never thought it would get more than 3 reviews! I love you all so much!

Okay so a few things I would like to say!  
First of all, sorry for the smut, never written it before so I thought I'd give it a go. I hope you guys liked it, I don't really think I did lol.

_SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS WAIT__**.**_ I had a really bad week this week and I had really really bad writers block.

If you guys want me to re-write a chapter in a certain persons POV PLEASE I am begging you let me know and I will totally do it! I take requests and a huge thing I should add is~

Keep your eyes open for a sequel in a about a month when I get off school! I really love this story and I am totally into doing a squeal if you guys would like!

_The last question EVER for this story is, is there any ties I didnt tie up? If I were to write a squeal what would you like to see in it? Would you read it?_


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